Let’s not pretend we have our shit together. This is not a space for folks who try to ‘win’ a neighborhood picnic.

We are not here to compete, we are here to create a sense of belonging. We’re inviting each other to show up as our full, messy selves. Which means creating a space where we can each feel accepted and whole even when we’re vulnerable, imperfect, and messy.

If wearing itchy matching underpants and sitting in front of our favorite painting calms us down – this can be a healing part of our hangout preparation. But let’s just notice and acknowledge when we’re curating and minimizing ourselves.

• Are we hiding our environments because it’s easier to think without clutter, or because we’re worried folks will see the peeling wallpaper and dirty dishes?
• Are we policing our natural speaking voice and the things we say to minimize harm to others, or to sound savvy and impress others?
• Are we shutting off our screens to give ourselves a rest from Zoom fatigue, or hiding the scars that betray our lack of access to healthcare and professional stylists?

On the flip-side – it’s equally unhealthy to hide our privilege. We all have enough mess that we don’t need to manufacture bed-head. If our coziest chair puts our camera in the line of sight of a diamond chandelier, own it. We show up as real selves in our real spaces.

We will make choices that help us feel safe in showing up, not choices that divide, compete, or entrench social superiority.