[Featured Image Description: Book cover for ‘The Umbrella‘] All images in this post are book covers from the preceding text.
The best kids books to inspiring creativity and imagination through times of turbulence.
[Image Descriptions: Feature of a little boy standing on the table sprinkling flour everywhere is from the inner page of ‘Big Snow’ by Jonathan Bean]
In this post: Cozy children’s stories to keep you warm through this cold and blustery winter.
Image description: Illustration from ‘Neither’ by Airlie Anderson. Blue bunnies and yellow birds gape at a newborn green bird-bunny saying ‘HONK!’
In this post: Gender non-conforming kids books featuring nonbinary and gender-fluid characters.
Books For Littles(BFL) is free and accessible for readers who can’t afford a paywall. Posts may contain affiliate links, which allow me to earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Check out the full affiliate disclosure along with the BFL statement of accountability.
Stories Celebrating Nonbinary Characters
Kids need nonbinary, gender-fluid & intersex heroes
Something about the use of ambiguously non-gendered characters in kidlit feels…off.
You’ve seen them, right? Those gender-ambiguous characters referred as the child, with neutral names like Frankie and Jaime. Full of awkward text that tap-dances around the use of nonbinary or gender-fluid pronouns.
Doesn’t it feel kinda… don’t ask, don’t tell-ish? Are authors really being inclusive?
It’s kind of gross, when you stop to think about it. Let’s break it down slowly.
Mainstream publishers are willing to feature gender-ambiguous characters, so long as there’s wiggle room for readers to perceive the character as a binary gender.
That ambiguity is a subtle way of negating a child’s gender autonomy. The character’s gender is the viewer’s decision. Our kids get to choose the gender that they are most comfortable with – not the character themselves. By telling our kids that they can perceive the someone else’s gender however they want, we’re reinforcing the idea that gender is determined by outside factors like our names, how we dress, our bodies, and the sex we’re assigned at birth.
This doesn’t break the dominant narrative of a gender binary. We’re just reinforcing it. Keeping nonbinary characters in the closet does nothing to teach our kids that gender expands way beyond boys and girls.
Ambiguously gendered characters silences and erases the existence of real-life nonbinary kids while using their identities to make cisgender kids comfortable.
Nonbinary kids get the message every day that their acceptance is contingent on being able to pass as male or female. That they are not welcome or safe as their full selves in all of their gorgeous, complicated, human glory.
Most kidlit authors are not featuring nonbinary characters to balance out gender representation.
(Oh heck, what are the odds that most cisgender authors even know that nonbinary genders exist?)
Cisgender authors exploit nonbinary genders as a selling tool. This tired, broken theory – kids can only empathize with a character when they see their own gender reflected back. The pink and blue branded toys, pink legos, and divided clothing departments. The books that claim to be ‘for boys’ or ‘for girls.’
Publishers want to sell twice as many books, assuming kids will … I dunno, explode or something?… if they read a book featuring a character who isn’t identical to them in every way.
Which is hilarious. ‘Cause we’re pretending that generations of girls and nonbinary kids have been reading stories starring masculine protagonists for hundreds (thousands?) of years – and this whole time we haven’t been capable of really empathizing with the characters’ journeys. Marketing departments don’t have much faith in kids.
You smell the bullshit here though, right?
This quiet, cis-passing inclusion is gentle, insidious bigotry. Cisgender makers aren’t featuring nonbinary characters to empower them – they’re appropriating a targeted group and twisting that identity as a device to sell books.
This isn’t okay! Why are we okay with this?! Let’s stop being okay with this.
It’s insulting (and cowardly) to assume marginalized gender identities aren’t worth representing and celebrating. This doesn’t just hurt our nonbinary kids. It’s ageist and sexist against cisgender kids, too. Kids are capable of empathizing with characters who identify as a different gender. We’re not giving our kids enough credit.
By assuming gender-priviledged kids can’t cope with the stories of nonbinary, trans, and feminine characters, we’re complicit in teaching our kids that people with these identities don’t matter.
But it’s okay, we’ve got a plan. HINT: BOOKS!
You might also like: Teaching Kids About The Gender Spectrum
Out & Proud: Explicitly Nonbinary Characters
The following stories loudly & proudly celebrate nonbinary characters, pronouns and all.
- Lumberjanes – Start at issue #1 and work your way through the stories as characters reconcile, grow, and own their various gender identities. Barney is formally labeled as nonbinary (they/them) in issue #4. Characters break gender constructs, come out as trans, gay and lesbian, but mostly, they fight monsters. The characters and story are defined by way more than just gender and sexuality.
- Love, Z – Z (a robot) uses they/them pronouns in this story about belonging, family, and unconditional love. The story also features an elderly lesbian (human) and with pictures of her multiracial family on the mantle. And the sea captain is a kitten, which makes my kids giggle. While I do wish Z was a human, I’ll take it.
- Bell’s Knock Knock Birthday! – This compilation of radically inclusive social justice imagery includes: normalizing Deaf & disabled characters (hearing aids), Black Lives Matter flags, public breastfeeding, and even vermicomposting for environmental justice. Also way more. So of course they’ve got a nonbinary grandparent in this chosen family (Grandmani). It’s more of a counting book than a story, but the background details are so jam-packed I can’t even list all the good stuff in it.
Disclosure: Flamingo Rampant sent me a digital copy of this book so I could review it, but we don’t have a physical copy so I haven’t tested it out with my kids. - They She He Me, Free To Be!*- Maybe you noticed that this book is in almost every book collection in BFL. If you haven’t read it yet, doooo it.
Disclosure: Reflection Press recently sent our family a free copy of this book as a gift, but only after years of recommending it and featuring Maya & Matthew in a Maker Spotlight, because they are awesome. - When Aidan Became A Brother – I’ve been waiting so damn long for this perfect book, which came out this month. The story centers on a trans boy named Aidan, preparing for the birth of his nonbinary baby sibling. SO CUTE. HAPPY TEARS. ADORABLE SO MUCH!
Disclosure: I requested this from the library, but Little Feminist Book Club sent me a free copy for review right before it arrived, because I help them pick their books. Click here to get their kickass monthly book boxes (both of these are affiliate links that support this website.)
Ages 7+
Ages 4-8
Ages 3+
Ages 2+
Ages 4+
You might also like: Dismantling Cissexism In Kidlit
Engaging Stories Validating Nonbinary & Gender-Fluid Kids Who Face Discrimination
While the stories in the categories above normalize nonbinary and gender fluid kids (the stories are about something other the gender, and gender doesn’t define them), the following books are explicitly destigmatizing and validating books to learn about the experience of navigating these gender identities.
All of include some level of peer pressure, discrimination, and bullying for the protagonists to navigate in worlds where stepping outside the binary makes people uncomfortable.
- From the Stars in the Sky to the Fish in the Sea is an #OwnVoices story written by a trans femme author (she/her) as a validating story for gender-fluid kids. It’s a great story to start talking with our kids about how gender ambiguity can make some folks angry, and how painful it can be to hide who we are just to make others comfortable.
- Worm Loves Worm is a simple story that pokes fun at people who get all huffy about same-sex marriage, featuring two gender-fluid, intersex worms.
- Neither Both of my kids were riveted at the injustice of discriminating against a bird-rabbit creature that is not just neither, but both. The cute, simple illustrations show kids how it feels to be excluded, and how it feels to find a place where they’re accepted.
Ages 3+
Ages 4+
Ages 3+
You might also like: Reassuring Books For Kids Who Feel Like Outsiders
Normalizing (Implied) Nonbinary Characters
These are the stories that hesitantly toe the line on using gender-ambiguous characters, but only when they can be perceived as either male or female. Lots of tap-dancing around so the text, and of course none of these include pronouns. I dug around and it’s clear that these characters are intentionally nonbinary.
They’re good books, but I do wish the makers had the courage to throw in a quick ‘they/them‘ or whatever. Sigh.
- On A Magical Do-Nothing Day got my screen-loving kid to set down the video-games and head outside, plus they’ve asked to check it out of the library multiple times. Our kids aren’t particularly well-versed in mindfulness or into nature, so I’m impressed. If I remember correctly, the author managed to skirt around gender by narrating it from the first person.
- Mel And Mo’s Marvelous Balancing Act is a great book about sibling conflict and cooperation, plus it fills a gap in books about twins as unique individuals. In this book, both twins present as gender-ambiguous and are referred to by name, but don’t use pronouns. Transparency: Annick Press sent me a free review copy of this book. It comes out in October 2019.
- A Beginner’s Guide To Bear Spotting is a witty, somewhat silly book that makes up for the lack of story in goofiness. My 4- & 6-year-olds understood it well enough, but the humor is tailored more towards 8+. The narrator guide speaks in the second-person, avoiding the use of pronouns.
- The Rabbit Listened is another book you’ll find plastered all over BFL – we recently used it to help the Earthquakes talk about supporting their dad while he grieves the loss of their grandmother. The character is referred to by name only (Taylor), but note to authors – my kids would have gotten the same benefits from this book if Taylor had been referred to by nonbinary gender pronouns a couple times in the book.
If you need more books normalizing nonbinary characters, these ones have unintentionally nonbinary characters. I threw those in a separate list for our supporters because those authors don’t even deserve credit for trying.
Ages 4.5+
Ages 4+
Ages 4.5+
Ages 3+
You might also like: Diverse Family Constellations In Kids Books
Series Collections Featuring Implied Nonbinary Characters
Similar to the books above in terms of avoiding the use of pronouns, the following authors use gender-ambiguity, rather than actively representing kids as nonbinary.
These ones are entire series…eses (how do you pluralize that? Whatever, I’m too lazy to look it up.)
- Babybug Magazine features re-occuring characters Kim and their stuffed rabbit Carrots in every monthly issue.
- The Baby Loves… series is are board books for toddlers, but the writing is better suited for kids 4+. Which is weird, that’s right at the age when many preschoolers eschew board books to claim their big-kidness. Most of the books don’t actually explain the science (or are just plain wrong), they’re mostly cash-grabs for parents desperate for a head start in a capitalist society that values academics over social skills. Irene Chan’s adorable illustrated babies are the only saving grace of the series. That, and some of the books, such as Baby Loves Aerospace Engineering! (which does not actually explain aerospace engineering) and Baby Loves Thermodynamics (about energy transfer, not thermodynamics) feature a non-gendered toddlers referred to as ‘Baby.’ However, most of the other books in this series include she or he pronouns. (WHY THO?!)
- Rachel Fuller’s New Baby series for toddlers and preschoolers were our top favorite books to prepare our first child for the birth of a new sibling. The series progresses from pregnancy (Waiting for Baby), being proud of being a big sibling with an infant (My New Baby), focusing on what the big sibling can do to overcome jealously (Look At Me! – our personal favorite) and playing together (You And Me). A few books in the series normalizes racial diversity and multiracial families, and all feature nonbinary (no pronouns) characters.
- Anastasia Higginbotham’s Ordinary Terrible Things series all include nonbinary characters who speak in the first person (no pronouns). I didn’t even realize this until I connected with Anastasia for a Maker Spotlight. Click here to check that out, it’s awesome.
Transparency: Dottir Press sent me a free copy of Not My Idea for review.
6 months to 3 years
Ages 4+
Ages 1-4
Ages 8+
You might also like: Stop Lying To Your Kids About White Supremacy
Informative Books Destigmatizing Nonbinary Genders
These ones aren’t really engaging stories, but I feel like I should add them here. These informative, didactic texts explicitly teach kids about nonbinary gender identities. You can also find more books about the gender spectrum over here.
- A Quick & Easy Guide to They/Them Pronouns is a quick-start pocket guide written by an #OwnVoices nonbinary author (they/them) for teens and adults. You can find all of this basic stuff elsewhere, but if you’re unfamiliar with pronouns and microaggressions against nonbinary people, this is handy to check out before answering your kids questions. The content is fine for kids, it’s just the text that is cognitively inaccessible (and boring) for littles.
- Jamie is Jamie is the only book in this category that I tested with my kids. It was fine for a read, but very basic and had no story. You can use it as an introduction to breaking gender constructs if your kids are unfamiliar with the idea.
- Meet Polkadot is highly didactic, and actually feels more like a text book than a picture book. The story is written by an #OwnVoices trans author (they/them). The content is fine, but my kids already knew the points from other books we’ve read, and they couldn’t sit through it due to the lack of story.
- The Gender Wheel covers way more than just nonbinary & fluid genders. This story includes intersex kids (super rare!) and touches on the history of colonization in creating the myth of a gender binary.
Disclosure: Reflection Press sent me a copy of this as a gift, but only after I started recommending it 😉 - It Feels Good To Be Yourself – This simple book covers multiple gender identities, including Alex and JJ, who both identify as non-binary, but in different ways.
Disclosure: I requested this from the library, but Little Feminist Book Club sent me a free copy for review right before it arrived, because I help them pick their books. Click here to subscribe for their kickass monthly book boxes (both of these are affiliate links that support this website.)
Teens & adults
Ages 4+
Ages 6+
Ages 5.5+
Ages 4+
You might also like: Radically Body-Positive Kids Books
Watch Out! Problematic (And Common) Themes That Hurt Nonbinary & Gender-Fluid Kids
Transphobia & cis-washing in books that claim to be gender inclusive
Who Am I? I Am Me!: A book to explore gender equality, gender stereotyping, acceptance and diversity…uhh, right there, in the title gives parents the impression that this is an all-encompassing book about gender stereotyping, gender acceptance and gender diversity. NOPE! The story reinforces narrow gender binaries and spreads misunderstandings about trans folks.
This makes me anxious. How many busy, cash-strapped parents and teachers pick this book up as the one-and-done resource to teach their kids about gender?
Like many others that claim to dismantle gender stereotypes, this book erases and ignores any kid who doesn’t identify as a boy or a girl. While books like we’re breaking gender constructs and promoting gender non-conformity, the author repeatedly suggests that there are only two genders, and that trans kids’ identities aren’t valid unless they can fit into a single side of that binary. While Sanders buries a tiny a reference to trans kids in the parent notes, she consistently uses he and she pronouns in the preface, parent guides, and throughout the book. Sanders makes no effort to introduce gender diversity beyond the fact that boys and girls can enjoy the same things.
In keeping with performative books that portray nonbinary characters without actually using nonbinary pronouns or explicitly stating that the character is nonbinary or fluid, this book focuses on a kid named ‘Frankie.’ Nonbinary folks can go by their name only and not use pronouns on purpose – but given the rest of the book, I doubt that’s Frankie’s situation. Frankie’s infant sibling is assigned ‘she‘ pronouns.
What a huge missed opportunity. As a new mom, I also gave my kids binary pronouns at birth just to make life easier. I figured my kids could develop more complex gender identities as they grew up. Knowing what I do now, I’m not sure I’d still make that same decision. But I get it – here in the real world, there are still those logistical issues of giving a newborn full control over their gender identity, with all the logistical headaches and discrimination that come with it.
But in a book with a universe empowering and idealizing gender choice – one where the protagonist can be happily Frankie while pretending bigotry and bias doesn’t exist – it’s a weird choice to gender background characters (mom, dad, sister, really everyone other than Frankie.) This subtly suggests that Frankie is an oddity, even within the ideal universe of this book.
Lines such as “Children who may come to identify as a gender other than the one assigned to them at birth will be consistent, insistent, and persistent about their transgender identity” erase genderqueer, gender-fluid, and nonbinary kids. Aaaaand it’s just not true.
Suggesting that a trans kid isn’t really transgender unless they were clear, outspoken, and consistent about their gender identity from birth negates and erases the lived experience of many trans kids. Let’s see this line for what it really is – a note to reassure transphobic cisgender parents that their kid won’t turn trans if they let their sons wear tutus and their daughters play with trains. Catering to that fragility allows transphobes to remain transphobic, and it erases and de-legitimatizes the natural journey of many trans, gender creative, and fluid people.
Seriously. Don’t gaslight your kids! Who approved this!?
No matter how often your kid changes their pronouns or the gender they identify as – believe them.
Beyond all the transphobia – the book goes on like ten times longer than it needs to and it’s torture to read.
The first page starts, “You are YOU and I am me. We are whoever we want to BE!”
Vague, cowardly attempts to avoid explicitly talking about gender is confusing. My 4-year-old didn’t read that as permission to identify as the gender of his choosing. He read that as permission to now identify as his older brother. Or a giraffe. NOT THE SAME THING, KIDDO.
Vague, cowardly writing doesn’t do kids any favors, and leaves parents to do the heavy lifting. It’d be easier to discuss gender without this confusing nonsense. It’s a waste of trees and my time.
We spent 60 minutes slogging through Frankie’s intensely boring life – all the things Frankie likes to eat, do, and play with, wondering what any of this has to do with gender acceptance. The only reference to gender came at the very end where Frankie asks the reader, “Am I a boy? Am I girl? Who am I?”
As if boy and girl are the only option. UGH.
The answer: “I am ME!”
Reading this book felt like sitting through the movie AI – waiting hours for the story to go somewhere, only to be smacked with an abrupt and infuriating ending. That was hours of the Earthquakes short childhoods that we will never, ever get back.
Decentering Nonbinary Kids As Deviations & Oddities
It’s perfectly Normal and It’s Not The Stork are the popular go-to books for frank, inclusive guidance for kids books on sexuality and reproduction.
Despite being held as the gold standard for inclusive, progressive series on sexuality, this series is full of binary language: “Girl or Boy, Female or Male.” and lines like “Either of the two main groups, female or male, into which living things are placed.” “Both boys and girls have crushes…” “sex is whether you are male or female” and so on. There’s more, but you get the point.
I go into detail in our collection about sexuality, and again in the collection about reproduction, on why I will not recommend any editions of this book until it’s been updated to stop othering and misgendering trans folks and erasing nonbinary and intersex people.
Feel-Good Books That Perform ‘Diversity’ Allyship While Saying Nothing
You know those insufferable Todd Parr books? Fragile folks love them for ‘diversity!’ collections to reinforce the idea that we live in a post-racial utopian fantasy land. So long as diversity is a vague idea disconnected from actual real-life inequality. And the ‘diverse’ folks are all friendly, assimilated and willing to be quiet about it discrimination, which I we solve by doing vague things like ‘be you!‘ – whatever the hell that means.
Books like Be Who You Are promote the ageist idea that children aren’t capable of understanding and accepting people who don’t look like, or behave like, the dominant group – unless we turn them into palatable cartoon characters. Or that sexuality, gender non-conformity, or even being a person of color are identities too icky and shameful to discuss with young children without coding people of color as blue, purple, yellow, and red.
Lines like “be a different color,” and “wear everything you need to be you” conveniently sell the idea that we live in a post-racial, post-sexist society, that life is joyful and safe for everyone with enough spunk and courage to be themselves (a nice, smiling, gentle version).
Celebrating the vague idea of ‘diversity’ without acknowledging that some folks have power while others don’t feeds into colorblind fallacy and reverse-racism. This performative nonsense teaches kids that inclusion is easy. It’s not. Inclusion is hard, messy, and difficult work. We need to stop telling our kids that inequality is over and picnics solve bigotry.
Gender-nonconforming folks are still killed just for existing. FUCK THESE LIES. Messages like this are worse than worthless, they’re arming privileged groups with the dangerous weapon of obliviousness.
We need less books like these, and more honest books about how bigotry works and what kids can do to dismantle it.
You might also like: Captivating Kids Stories To Recognize Privilege
Accountability & transparency: I am a cishet person, without lived experience in LGBTQ+ issues, and part of learning to do better means I make mistakes. If I messed anything up, or left anything out – leave a comment below and I’ll do my best to create a more inclusive collection.
Stay Curious, Stand Brave & Protect Trans, Nonbinary & Gender-Fluid Kids
This post highlights step-by-step tips to help kids explore overwhelming feelings with a book list to help them get through conflict with a healthy mindset
[Image Description: Book cover for Rosie The Raven, by Helga Bansch, featuring a young white-presenting child flanked by two enormous black ravens.]
This is the first of a four-series post. In this post: 5 actions to teach your kids about disability inclusion & awesome picture books to get started. Learn what to look for in kids books fostering equity for kids with disabilities – and how to spot ableist tropes.
MORE IN THIS SERIESRaising Anti-Ableist Kids
Raising Luminaries is free and accessible for readers who can’t afford a paywall. Posts may contain affiliate links, which allow me to earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Check out the full affiliate disclosure along with my statement of accountability.
Disability 101: What Every Kid Should Know
If you’re new to the disability rights movement and a social model of disability, let’s start from the beginning.
Disabled lives are lives worth living.
Disabled lives are lives worth living.
Out loud, please;
Disabled lives are lives worth living.
Disabled kids deserve the same rights to life, autonomy, and respect as any non-disabled child.
So why do our school and library bookshelves still treat kids with disabilities as burdens to be managed.
Children’s Disability Books Are Hot Rubbish
You’ve got some work to do. We all have some work to do.
We’re raised to view disability as a flaw, people with disabilities as incomplete, as less human. From revulsion to pity, from erasure to abuse, we all need to take a look at how we view disability and how we treat each other.
Racism and sexism in kidlit is falling out of style. Somehow ableism and body-shaming is still totally okay.
Stop settling for rubbish books that feed into ableism and non-disabled supremacy.
Be an accomplice for disability rights: 5 Ways To Demand Inclusion:
Speak up & disrupt.
Demand inclusive environments and products that everybody can access. Every non-disabled student can walk up a ramp, but not everyone can walk up stairs.
Demand the same treatment for disabled people as you expect for yourself.
Don’t put your grimy hands on someone’s wheelchair and start shoving. Respect the autonomy and consent of disabled people – don’t insist on helping even when someone says ‘no.’ Don’t subject people with disabilities to non-consensual treatment that would be considered inhumane and abusive for people without disabilities.
Listen & believe our lived experience – and respect our time.
Don’t argue with a disabled person because you think you know better about what they need. When they tell you to stop doing something or set boundaries – don’t ask them to break it down and justify their needs. Google is free. You’ve probably got access to a library. Getting the same question from strangers 10 times a day is exhausting. Your friends and family don’t owe you a masterclass, nor should they have to justify why they need accommodations for education, employment, and survival.
Make mistakes. Apologize. Move on. Do better.
If you truly want to learn about the experiences of disabled people and create inclusive future for all of us, move forward and speak up, even when you’re afraid you’ll misspeak. Be prepared to get corrected when you’re wrong. And don’t lash out at us when you make mistakes. Remember this mantra: “Creating an equitable future is not about me.”
Check your assumptions & Always presume competence.
The tone of a conversation changes immediately once I tell someone I’m autistic.Did that last sentence make you want to go back and re-read this whole thing through a new, paternalistic lens? Ableism tells you to discount and disqualify the challenging things I tell you, simply because I have a cognitive disability.
Get over it. The only person who can speak for me is me. Not my parents, not my partner, not my doctor, and certainly not allistic (non-autistic) organizations who profit off stigmatizing the disabled community. This holds true for everyone – of every age – regardless of how we communicate, whether it’s via speech, typing, or assisted-communication devices.
Stop reading ableist bedtime stories
In later posts, we’ll discuss two more vital types of books that every kid should read (Pt 2: de-stigmatizing and Pt 3: normalizing). But first let’s focus on personal agency.
Since we’re stereotyped and erased from movies and media, most public spaces are inaccessible, and many schools and workplaces segregate us to keep us invisible. Children’s stories might be the only place your children can see and learn about disabled lives and experiences.
Stories featuring disabled people with agency, who are self-empowered and competent, teaches children two things:
- Complex and human disabled people exist beyond stereotypes and pity-parties. Disability does render us bad, broken, or worthless.
- We do not exist as inspiration porn , sidekicks, villains and tropes to make abled folks feel good about themselves.
Empowering Stories Contain:
- Competent multi-dimensional disabled protagonists represented in a spectrum of races and genders.
- Open discussion of disability without shame, including advantages and challenges.
- Thoughtful, inclusive language, and well-crafted images of characters with integrity
- Engaging, story-based plot lines.
Condescending Books Contain:
- Helpless supporting characters with disabilities who exist only to support the abled protagonist’s story (victims, villains & burdensome disabled family.) [Problematic: French Toast, My Brother Is Autistic, Netflix’s Atypical]
- Characters worthy of acceptance, success, and love, only after they overcome disability, mask their disability, or go above-and-beyond to make up for them. [Problematic: My Friend Maggie, My Brother Charlie, The Patch]
- Disabled characters expected to ‘suck it up’ or keep up with abled people despite pain and abuse, or disregard the real challenges and dangers of living in a world without accommodations. [Problematic: Armond Goes To a Party, Dylan the Villain]
- Disabled characters are pitiful and miserable until they can ‘overcome’ disability – usually with the help of non-disabled saviors. [Problematic: Ricky The Rock That Couldn’t Roll– that sad face, OMG.]
- Defining a happy ending with a magic cure. [Problematic: Peter Nimble, John’s Whistle ]
Captioned age ranges are for when my sons got ‘the gist’ of the story with discussion & alternative readings – most contain text for much older ages.
Understand Disability Acceptance (NOT just ‘awareness’)
Ages 3.5+
In ‘We’ll Paint The Octopus Red,’ a big-sister-to-be helps her parents recognize that her new baby sibling with Down syndrome will be just as valuable a family member as any other child. Avoid the sequel though, it’s awful. I’m still looking for a better book that centers a person with Down Syndrome’s voice, rather than a sibling. (Down Syndrome)
Ages 4+
In ‘All My Stripes,’ Zane’s mom lists the things she loves about his unique autistic mind. Caveats: This book contains a foreword by a leader of the reviled autism-exploitation group Autism Speaks, and the non-autistic illustrator created non-literal (re: non-neurodivergent) illustrations, as the ‘stripes’ listed aren’t literally on the zebra. Irritating. (Autism)
Ages 8+
‘Fish In A Tree’ is the story of a clever girl with undiagnosed dyslexia who has been labeled as a troublemaker in her attempts to hide her disability. Caveats: One character is presumably autistic and wears a ‘Flint’ T-shirt, but the author uses this without addressing either social disabilities or the Flint water crisis – COWARDICE. It’s also been critiqued by wealthy folks who don’t believe that physical abuse and bullying would be overlooked by adults in a public school (HAH!). To read more on the intersection of poverty and lack of adult intervention with bullying, click here. (Dyslexia)
Ages 4.5+
‘Naomi Knows It’s Springtime‘ – ignore the outdated, blurry illustrations, have kids close their eyes when you read this. Naomi can tell it’s spring in a multitude of ways using other senses and by being a reasonably intelligent human. When her condescending neighbor ties to throw a pity party for her, Naomi has none of it. (Blindness)
Ages 5.5+
‘The Hickory Chair‘ – more outdated, blurry (rather terrible nonsense) illustrations, but the blind narrator navigates complex themes of respect, competence, and loss in a simple story that will grow with kids over time. (Blindness)
Ages 2.5+
Ages 4+
(Deaf, non-speaking)
Ages 1-4
And sometimes he just needs a nebulizer treatment to help him roar loudly. My 3 year-old loved this, and it helped him feel powerful to imagine his nebulizer as pilot’s gear. It also helped my non-asthmatic son see asthma doesn’t make his brother frail or less-than. Simple and empowering, it’s super helpful if you’ve got a little one who isn’t always enthusiastic about treatments.
Melanie and her Grampa are all like “Dammit, oh nos. Melanie is Blind.” (I’m paraphrasing.) Grampa goes off to find a healer, insisting Melanie can’t make the dangerous trip because she’s Blind (presuming incompetence – it’s a thing!) Of course he doesn’t make it.
Melanie goes on to save her Grampa and a mess of other dudes who get captured by an evil troll. Through the story, we see how Melanie is kick-ass at things we sighted folks wouldn’t be able to manage. In the end, Melanie points out that ‘healing’ her blindness would be a bad idea – it was her abilities as a Blind woman that allowed her to rescue everyone.
So. BOOM! How ya like her now, GRAMPA?!
Understand The Social Model Of Disability
Ages 1.5+
‘The Red Lemon‘ – allegory highlighting the social model of disability, where many disabilities considered flaws are only a challenge in a world not designed for us.
Ages 2+
Ages 3+
Ages 4+
‘Yuko-Chan And The Daruma Doll‘ – This a kick-ass Blind girl who perseveres in situations where sighted people (and old dudes) give up, and goes on to save her village using innovation and hard work despite those around her assuming she’s incompetent. (Blindness). Great for discussions of intersections on adultism, sexism, and ableism.
Ages 3.5+
‘Rosie The Raven‘ – A human girl born to a raven family, Rosie’s family accepts and accommodates her disabilities (such as the inability to fly), and she grows up confident and happy with the way she is.
Ages 3.5+
‘The Monkey And The Panda‘ – Celebrating different abilities as different, not less.
Understand Social Pressure & Self-Acceptance
Ages 4+
‘Not So Tall For Six‘ (achondroplasia, bullying)
Ages 4.5+
Click here for more books championing fat liberation
Ages 3+
Ages 4.5+
‘Abby’s Asthma And The Big Race‘ (Asthma, micro-aggressions & presuming incompetence)
Up next in part 2: Look at me, not through me – De-Stigmatizing Disability
Check out part 2 of this series to learn the real-world impact of terrible children’s books.
Stay Curious, Stand Brave & Demand Disability Rights
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*Note on identity language:
If you are disabled/have disabilities and feel misrepresented in this post, your comments are welcome and I invite your perspective, as the community of disability rights advocates is not monolithic and your perspective matters.
Before any non-disabled folks chime in suggesting I switch to person-first language – please don’t pretend it’s just concerned advice. I’ll leave it to you to google how assuming I’m not disabled because I’m eloquent, assuming I’m not disabled enough, tone-policing, and derailing my point is an act of supremacy.
The use of person-first language centers non-disabled status as superior. It separates us from our disabilities – as if our disabilities don’t affect who we are and/or we should be ashamed of them. You wouldn’t call me a ‘person with womanhood,’ ‘a person with right-handedness,’ nor ‘a person with mixed heritage.’
I am a right-handed, multiracial, autistic woman and I am not ashamed.
[Featured Image Description: Book cover of ‘The Belly Book’ by Fran Manushkin. The rest of the images in this post are book covers from the preceding text].
In this post: Adipositive Kids Books teaching kids to accept and respect people of every size.
MORE IN THIS SERIES
First Talks About Body Boundaries
Raising Luminaries is free and accessible for readers who can’t afford a paywall. Posts may contain affiliate links, which allow me to earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Check out the full affiliate disclosure along with my statement of accountability.
104: Daring Stories About Fat Liberation
Talking About Size-Shaming With Kids
I thought ableism in our books was bad, because it was insipidly disguised as ‘awareness.’ The way authors and illustrators treat fat characters is far worse, full of overt contempt and vitriol. We have a problem with size discrimination and supremacy in kid’s lit.
Choosing to ignore body-shaming is a privilege
It’s up to me to teach my kids that all their friends are humans worthy of kindness and respect – and it’s 110% not okay to shame, dehumanize, or objectify fat folks. If we don’t make that explicit, they’re going to pick up fat-phobic messages every time we leave the house.
We must teach our kids that our worth is not mutable or negotiable, that our right to compassion and respect does not correlate with our size.
Transparency: I have thin privilege. I’ve never faced the institutional discrimination barring me from quality education, healthcare, and social status based on my weight. I’m likely to swerve out of my lane and make mistakes when I discuss fat acceptance and liberation. Please call it to my attention if (when) I mess up. Facing up to my mistakes a risk worth taking if we’re going to get more strong, confident, complex, and happy fat kids in picture books.
Kick-Ass Icons
Ages 4.5+
Schwartz’s early versions* of ‘Begin At The Beginning‘ (also ‘Bea & Mr. Jones,’ with a caveat for ableist use of ‘dumb’) feature confident, passionate, talented protagonists who eat without shame and their plump bodies are normal and healthy.
Ages 3+
‘Beautiful‘ (also see ‘Lovely‘) call out traditional beauty norms for girls while smashing expectations in the illustrations. I would have loved to see larger characters, but all of the more plump girls are athletic and kick-ass. While I promote all books should be read by all genders, be careful when reading the text to boys, as it reads like an 1800’s primer for demure ladies.
Ages 5+ (violent)
‘The Adventures of Isabel‘* isn’t for everyone – it’s subversive and violent. Normally I avoid violence in books but Isabel is so smooth, and boss as she decapitates giants and dodges shills for big pharma – “Isabel didn’t scream or scurry. She washed her hands and she straightened her hair up, Then Isabel quietly ate the bear up.” This book fills me with glee. Isabel happens to be fat and she does not give any shits what anyone thinks about it.
*Both Schwartz & Nash’s books have been re-printed with slim characters recently because the world is awful and nothing good can last.
Caveats: This series (by various authors) has been cited as problematic in misrepresenting Indigenous folktales and culture. This particular book is written by white folks, not Indigenous or Latinx makers. I couldn’t find anything on the original story or the woman in the story, nor could I find criticisms against this particular book.
6+ with strong caveats
The Truly Brave Princesses is a serving of delicious cookies, but those cookies are swimming in a slimy can of worms.
There are so many great things about this book (like the many princesses of size rocking it) and SOOOO many problematic garbage issues with it. Really what I’d love to do is cut this book up, re-arrange it, and create my own book from (most of) the illustrations.
I refuse to read it with my kids because of the negative messages it sends about women – but for now, let’s just throw it in here because it’s got the best adipositive illustrations I’ve ever seen.
You might also like: Radically Body-Positive Kid’s books
Boost Belly Confidence
I have feelings about illustrators’ insistence of portraying fat-positive characters as hippos, elephants, cows, and pigs, but ‘I Like Me!‘ and ‘Get Up And Go‘ is canon within the slim pickings of fat-positive literature. (Another caveat – Carlson is a non-disabled supremacist and her work promotes internalized ableism.)
‘The Belly Book‘ is a happy, bouncy romp of a book and one of my preschooler’s favorites. Two caveats: Erasure of adoptive families (“Once upon a time, your mummy grew you – right inside her tummy.”) And an unnecessary spread featuring a happy, slim girl admiring her innie belly button while a chubbier boy pouts at his outie.
‘I Love You Nose, I Love You Toes‘ ( see also ‘Horns To Toes And In Between‘ and ‘It’s Okay to be Different‘) is a toddler anatomy book listing basic body parts and boosting body confidence. Tubby bellies are just a natural part of us, and aren’t charged with negative or positive association on size.
Ages 1.5+
Ages 1+
Ages 1.5+
Ages 4+
You might also like: Don’t Yuck My Yum – Teaching Kids Not To Food-Shame
Appreciate fat bodies as natural, beloved & belonging
‘The Night Eater‘ (or ‘Comenoches‘ in Spanish) – See Alison’s reservations & notes in the comments below.
‘My Great Big Mamma‘ ‘Big Momma Makes The World‘ (Abrahamic creation story, see comment by Tzipporah‘s notes below on my previous use of language.)
and ‘They She He Me: Free To Be!‘
Ages 3+
Ages 2+
Ages 1.5+
Ages 1.5+
Reject body-shaming & bullying
‘Abigail The Whale‘ is bullied by the kids in her swim class, and eventually learns to embrace and celebrate her body and her abilities, with the perk of some mild revenge (a very splashy cannonball). ‘Belinda’s Bouquet‘ was a progressive story on fat shaming and fat acceptance in 1989, featuring lesbian moms(!) but it centers a thin white dude as the protagonist for no apparent reason and the story is clumsy. In ‘Starring Hillary,’ we see the effects of family members body-shaming young girls, and the importance of representation and self-acceptance.
Lots of white girls – I know, so I’m still looking for more stories on this centering fat kids of color along the gender spectrum. Slow progress!
Ages 4.5+
Ages 5+
Ages 5+
No – YOU move
Both ‘Ernest, The Moose Who Doesn’t Fit‘ and ‘Brontorina,’ follow the device as an allegory for inclusion – change the environment, not the size of the character. ‘You Are (Not) Small‘ is a modern classic teaching kids about perspective and labels.
Ages 2.5+
Ages 2.5+
Ages 3+
You might also like: Empowering Kids Books About Disability
Normalizing bodies of size
Regular (or extraordinary) people doing their thing. their weight is neither erased nor tokenized, and they are complex characters with agency and identities outside the trope of being ‘the fat one.’
Time to get dressed!, Boo Hoo Boo Boo, Daddy, Papa, and Me, Mommy, Mama, and Me, When Santa Was A Baby, Dusk, Full, Full, Full of Love, Minnie Maloney and Macaroni, Don’t Feed The Bear, The Five of Us, Sex Is A Funny Word, Dad By My Side, Diana Dances (transparency: Annick Press sent me a free copy of this for review)
Those Shoes and Julián Is a Mermaid both love their fat grandmothers, but Juliá’s Abuela owns it in her wisdom (with more fat characters celebrating their bodies in the background.) It’s worth mentioning that while this book is super sweet and affirming, there are some issues with how Love, a white allocishet author appropriated and whitewashed the experience of a Dominican child of color.
Ages 1+
Ages 1+
Ages 4+
Ages 1+
Ages 1-4
Ages 3+
Ages 4.5+
Ages 1+
Ages 4+
Ages 3.5+
Ages 3.5+
Ages 3.5+
Ages 6+
Ages 2.5+
Ages 4+
You might also like Cultivating Healthy Boundaries – Helping Kids Understand Sex
Navigating Body Comparisons – Validating Stories For Kids of Size
‘Minnie & Max Are OK!‘ features the journey of Minnie & Max as they compare their bodies negatively with others in a grass-is-greener situation, ultimately coming to a place of self-acceptance. ‘How To Be Comfortable In Your Own Feathers‘ is didactic and ham-fisted, but addresses body dysmorphia (anorexia) and gives parents a place to start discussions for kids navigating eating disorders (so it’s not for everyone). See Maura’s awesome analysis of ‘Amanda’s Big Dream‘ below in the comments.
Ages 4.5+
[Eating Disorders]
Ages 4.5+
Celebrate Kick-Ass Women of Size In History
I get that having a book about food in this post borders on stereotyping, but bear with me, Pies From Nowhere (Georgiea Gilmore) is awesome. And while we’re at it, Voice of Freedom (Fannie Lou Hamer) is also awesome.
Perhaps you noticed we’re only including Black women in this list. I focus on women of color (primarily Black women) in my research since women’s history kidlit leans White and ignores other people of color entirely. But if I’ll add more folks as I find them.
Ages 7+
Ages 9+
You might also like: Black Women In American History: Kidlit Without White Saviors
Recognize anti-fat tropes in stories
SO MANY BOOKS center on skinny characters learning to treat fat people with respect only have they’ve ‘earned’ it by going above and beyond to prove their humanity.
SO MANY BOOKS offer the only path to humanity and acceptance though diet and exercise. Bootstraps!
SO MANY BOOKS end with parents beaming at their successfully down-sized child, who is now worthy of love and affection because they starved themselves thin.
SO MANY BOOKS with fat, happy, confident characters who are depicted as pigs, elephants, and cows surrounded by smaller animals who make fun of them. Seriously, with those old stereotypes? Is drawing a portly giraffe or fluffy meerkat so hard?
WE ARE NOT HAVING IT.
Problematic (And Common) Story Devices To Avoid
- ‘My Friend Maggie‘ – this is by far the most detestable of the list, and I hate it.
The bulk of the book subjects Maggie to humiliating illustrations as she falls off playground equipment, sucks at hide-and-seek, and is the butt of the maker’s jokes. The protagonist insists she likes Maggie ‘despite’ these ‘flaws’ which is some nonsense thin-supremacy logic.
Later, Maggie proves her value by forgiving the protagonist for being an asshat, proving that fat people must go above-and-beyond in order to be treated with basic human dignity. - Oh wait I just found ‘I Get So Hungry‘ and it’s a decent runner-up for most-hated. In it, we learn that being fat is simply caused by laziness, and that by going on a diet and exercising a little, you can earn dignity and self-respect. OH FOR FUCKS SAKE.
- ‘The Runaway Wok‘s has an unnecessary depiction of ‘Chubby Lan’ to depict his greed and laziness:
“Without bothering to find the owner, the chubby boy grabbed the wok…Finally his weak arms grew tired and he headed home.” “Chubby Lan couldn’t make it very far without losing his breath”
- ‘Maggie Goes On A Diet‘ portrays an undignified Maggie shoving food into her face with her head in the fridge, implies fatness is the result of mental issues, and glorifies fat-miserable-before and skinny-happy-after. The maker puts the onus of her bullying on Maggie – she changes, not her bullies.
- ‘Hooway For Wodney Wat‘s bully is an aggressive, ignorant, fat Camilla Capybara insisting “I’m bigger than any of you. I’m meaner than any of you, And I’m smarter than any of you. So there,” perpetuating an aggressive fat bully trope.
- ‘Harry Potter‘ I love Harry Potter – but we need to discuss how every fat character is evil, lazy, or incompetent. (Neville becomes a bad-ass only after slimming down.)
- ‘I Like Myself‘ – I mostly like this story despite it’s many problems (the makers are ignorant of both race and weight stereotypes). However, the idea that she likes herself ‘even if‘ she’s fat implies that weight correlates with worth, and that’s an insidious message our kids can do without.
- Fun In The Sun uses fat bodies as objects for laughs. Throwing fat bodies into a silly story for a chuckle – explicitly because illustrators find the concept of fatness, and fat people, here for a thin-person’s entertainment, is lazy. Work harder on better writing and illustrations and makers won’t have to feed into this dehumanizing, objectifying stereotype.
- ‘Fire Engine‘ features a fat character who busts through a metal wall to eat all the cupcakes and snacks intended for his coworker’s party. Seriously.
- ‘Bear’s Big Bottom‘ is a compilation of all the things Bear fucks up because he has a large ass. No thank you.
- ‘Flabby Cat and Slobby Dog‘ That cover. Also every single other thing about this book.
- ‘Clorinda‘ tries – but ultimately fails. She makes it into a big production as a dancer despite everyone telling her she’s too big (she’s a cow) – but quits and goes home when she realizes she’s so large her partner can’t hold her weight without being crushed. In contrast – ‘Brontorina’ (listed above) solves this issue in an obvious way with a minimum of fuss.
- ‘Bare Naked Book‘ is just one of hundreds of examples promoting body-positivity while completely erasing fat folks from the picture.
- ‘Is Mommy?‘ is a wretched, negative smoking pile of crap of a book ripping apart moms, but the icing on the cake is the line “Is mommy fat?” with the general understanding that ‘fat’ is a very bad thing. BTW: Yes she is! (Mommy is also apparently short, boring, ugly, and mean.)
- See also: Pretty much every book with a fat character.
Listen to Body Acceptance & Fat Liberation Leaders
“When my body gets smaller, it is still me. When my body gets bigger, it is still me. There is not a thin woman inside me, awaiting excavation.”
– Lindy West, from ‘Shrill‘
Again – I’m not fat, so place is to signal boost and get you guys hip to the concept so you can learn more. This post should not the end & all of your education on fat liberation. Read more by Lindy West, Roxanne Gay, Samantha Irby, and other Acivists and writers who fight for acceptance.
Adults
Adults
More Resources
- Fat Liberation Manifesto
- Fat-Positive Representation For Kids (by BFL reader Sasha Harris-Cronin!)
Stay Curious, Stand Courageous & Take Up Space
Support these resources via Paypal | Venmo | Ko-fi | Buy a t-shirt | Buy a book
[Image description: An interior page from Let’s Talk About Body Boundaries, Consent, and Respect by Jayneen Sanders and Sarah Jennings. The image features an elderly woman asking a reluctant-looking child, “May I have a kiss please?”]
[Image description: Table of Contents from Sex Is A Funny Word, by Cory Silverberg & Fiona Smyth. Topics include ‘What is sex?,’ ‘Learning About Bodies,’ ‘Boys, Girls, And The Rest Of Us,’ ‘Touch,’ ‘Talking About Sex,’ and ‘Crushes, Love, And Relationships.’]
Not sure how to explain sexuality with your kids? If you’re looking for inclusive, age-appropriate books to talk about sexuality and non-reproductive sex, you’ve arrived at the right place.
MORE IN THIS SERIES
First Talks About Body Boundaries
Raising Luminaries is free and accessible for readers who can’t afford a paywall. Posts may contain affiliate links, which allow me to earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Check out the full affiliate disclosure along with my statement of accountability.
203: Talking About Sex Beyond Reproduction
Open, honest discussions start early
Sex for fun! Masturbation! Human Rights For Sex Workers!
Now that I’ve scared off all the squeamish readers, let’s teach our kids how to have a healthy, sex-positive relationship with themselves and others.
Assuming we can keep kids sheltered from the existence of healthy, recreational sex is silly. Around 6 (give or take many years), it’s normal and healthy for kids to get curious and excited about sexual feelings, masturbation, and learning about others.
Be open, honest, and direct from the very beginning
Refusing to talk about sex, particularly the exciting parts of it, sets our kids up to feel ashamed of their experiences and their curiosity. Staying silent also opens them up to be exploited and abused (or become abusers) because they don’t know how to set healthy boundaries.
You Might Also Like: 6 Mistakes We Make Raising Sons – Preventing Sexual Assault
Books For Littles(BFL) is free and accessible for readers who can’t afford a paywall. Posts may contain affiliate links, which allow me to earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Check out the full affiliate disclosure along with the BFL statement of accountability.
Ages 5.5+
Top Pick – If you read only one book, make it this one.
Sex Is A Funny Word
This mostly flies over my 4-year-old’s head, but for my 6-year-old, it’s a wonderful resource introducing curiosity, sexuality, and masturbation in a sex-positive way.
The Little Earthquakes already know about sexual reproduction, but we need to discuss what healthy sex looks like. From playground talk, media ads, and natural biological curiosity – they’ll realize that sex isn’t solely for reproduction even if we refuse to talk about it.
My 6-year-old needs to know that his curiosity is normal and healthy, and what is acceptable and unacceptable when it comes to how we treat ourselves and others.
This book discusses gender beyond a binary, acknowledges that all people – including people of color, people with disabilities, and the elderly, have desires & sexual identities.
It also directly and honestly addresses sexual abuse and consent – something all kids need to know as they head into elementary school – the age of sleepovers, playing ‘doctor,’ and staying in the care of adults outside their security network.
Ages 6+
Most Thorough For Exploring Sexual Identity
A Kid’s First Book About Sex
+ Workbook: The PlayBook For Kids About Sex
This one is a little tough to find (it’s no longer in print) and could use a second-edition. BUT! If you’re looking for a book that takes you step-by-step into discussing sexuality, masturbation, and sex for pleasure, this is the most direct, unapologetic book about sex for prepubescent kids you’ll ever find.
Printed in the early 80’s, these books erase intersex and trans kids and assume a gender binary, with statements such as, “Every boy has a penis and every girl has a clitoris.” This is outdated and false.
Despite that – this considerate steps to clearly and simply provoke self-reflection and acceptance is awesome and helps kids sort out their curiosity and feelings, encouraging them to discuss what they’re thinking about with a safe adult to figure out what feels right to them.
Ages 8+
Best For Survivors With A History Of Sexual Abuse
Tell Me About Sex, Grandma
This book is very different from the other books listed in this post. It’s full of metaphor, and it’s vague. To quote from the publisher description, “The dialogue focuses on the dynamics of sex, rather than the mechanics.”
I am autistic, and the Earthquakes are both under 7. We need concrete clarity – so it’s not for us. But I’m really glad it exists. Higginbotham’s work is innovative and I love her other books.
The broad metaphor is by design – this book gives survivors of sexual abuse a gentle way to discuss non-reproductive sex with kids, without specifics that could make that discussion too painful.
For older kids and neurotypical families (if you don’t know what ‘neurotypical’ means, it means you), particularly ones who aren’t comfortable using language on anatomy, naming orgasms and lust, that sort of thing – this is a great book to start with.
You Might Also Like: Love Is Love Is Love – Kids Books With Diverse Family Constellations
Grownups Only
Best For Older Teens & Adults
Drawn To Sex: The Basics
If you’re teaching your kids about sex, it’s probably a good idea to brush up on your own misunderstandings and biases first.
The authors of the web comic Oh Joy Sex Toy have compiled all the sex education 101 resources they’ve created over the years (plus other new stuff) into a 3-book series that publishes in November 2018.
This will probably have some problematic issues – but the makers have consistently remained open to criticism and learning, plus they actively boost the voices of marginalized artists, promote fat liberation, body acceptance, disability visibility, and LGBTQ+ issues. This is the comic for everyone who has been raised to feel ashamed of their body and sexuality (so basically, everyone.)
Maybe don’t.
Problematic & Overdue For A New Edition (2014 Edition Not Recommended)
It’s Perfectly Normal
This is the standard classic book on puberty and body changes for kids. The trouble is that it fosters the illusion of being inclusive without actually including the voices of intersex, nonbinary, and trans folks.
It’s a big book with a LOT of problems, including the willful misgendering of trans folks, and it’s time to either update it to be more inclusive, or retire it.
We are happy retiring it – there are way better options above. Unlike the problematic erasure of nonbinary and intersex kids in A Kid’s First Book About Sex, in which the 80’s publication just doesn’t even realize that these kids are normal, this one casually misgenders trans kids and insists on talking about them, without them. If you’ve read my series on non-disabled people writing books about disability, you know how I feel about this. With the maker’s reputation as an inclusive author, they should have known better for the 2014 edition.
Something To Keep In Mind
How Mamas Love Their Babies
This isn’t a sex education book, but this topic should be on your radar.
I’m not saying you need to start discussing the tricky situation of decriminalizing the exploitative sex industry while protecting sex worker’s human rights…but…maybe just teach them that sex workers are people?
While the text doesn’t mention sex work, the author explains that mamas sometimes wear uniforms (from baggy to tight, like a scuba diver’s) and some mamas dance, with images showing platform shoes and a stripper pole, and on a later page, a hotel bed.
This is amazing – because many mamas do have to/choose to support their babies with a career in the sex industry, and these women deserve the same credit for the hard work they do caring for their children.
They ALSO deserve access to the same healthcare, education, worker’s rights, and safety my family has access to – something they’re not going to get if we insist they stay invisible.
Feminists should support decriminalizing sex work. Here’s why.
Stay Curious, Stand Brave & Foster Shame-Free Sexuality
[Image Description: Illustration from The Nian Monster by Wang & Chau, featuring an energetic cyclone of dragon dancers surrounding a pleased and bloodthirsty Nian sitting on a throne of fireworks. Behind the Nian, a clever little girl prepares to light the firecrackers.]
In this post: Stereotype-free (and amazing) picture books celebrating the Lunar New Year
This post is no longer updated regularly. Check out the Books for Littles Lunar New Year collection on Bookshop for our most recent new year recommendations.
Raising Luminaries is free and accessible for readers who can’t afford a paywall. Posts may contain affiliate links, which allow me to earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Check out the full affiliate disclosure along with my statement of accountability. If you’re into supporting libraries (please do!) more than consumerism, you can also support my work directly:
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No more meek China Dolls
Xingling from The Nian Monster is the kick-ass Asian hero I’ve been searching for my whole life.
Growing up, I had ZERO kick-ass feminine Asian heroes. We had:
- Meek Aja from Jem
- Zany Claudia stuffing her face through The Babysitters Club
- A light brown barbie doll with black hair and a European bone structure (I think she was supposed to be Hawaiian?)
- And Deedee from the cheesy band, The Party.
(Just me? Do you guys remember that band? I had a poster and everything!)
They were okay, I guess.
And then I saw The Heroic Trio and I was like, “WHAAAAAT?! YES! MORE! – ALL OF IT!!!”
Clever, smart, conniving, even, these kick-ass Chinese women. And heroic! And it only took NINETEEN YEARS for this kind of powerful representation to show up for little Asian girls in picture books.
Spark Curiosity with…uhh. MAYHEM and DESTRUCTION!
I’ve read like a billion books on the lunar new year, and they are all dry and bland and cutesy. Dumplings. Grandmas. Lanterns. Lion Dancers. Noodles. Yawn.
AND THEN I FOUND THIS!!!!
It’s been a year since we got this book, and the kids still love it and ask to read it all the time. Both of the Little Earthquakes can’t get enough of it, and I’m still not tired of reading it.
As a modern spin on the folktale of the Nian, clever Xingling saves all of Shanghai from destruction in the new year by outwitting the fierce (and omg so adorable) Nian monster.
Working in some basics on celebrating the lunar new year, I was able to introduce these ideas to my kids without getting didactic and boring.
It was the perfect way to spin the terrifying story of a monster who wants to consume everything we hold dear into something my kids can get through with a giggle.
I love the (mild) mayhem and destruction, as people flee while clutching their cell phones. I love that the illustrator doesn’t resort to slant-eyes. I love the irreverent writing. I love that Xingling’s first instinct is to shout ‘Ai-ya!’ because it brings me back to my grandmother’s kitchen when I hear that.
The Problem with Chinese New Year
Now there’s an issue with celebrating the Lunar New Year in the US. It’s something I’ve fallen for, too, growing up ABC (American-born Chinese).
It uhh….never occurred to me until a couple years ago that the Lunar New Year doesn’t exclusively belong to the Chinese.
I’ve spent a couple years searching for more diverse representation in Lunar New Year traditions, and have found some decent ones worth exploring, listed below.
This way, we can teach our kids that the people of South/East Asia and the Pacific Islands aren’t just satellites of China, but rich and complex cultures that have a weight and significance all their own.
Awesome Lunar New Year Books
Arm yourself with a diverse range of experiences and traditions this lunar new year, and celebrate the death of the China-doll (and China-only) stereotype.
Captioned age ranges are for when my sons were able to understand and enjoy each story. The rest of the images in this post are book covers of titles referenced before the images.
*#OwnVoices Books by Asian Authors and/or illustrators are marked with an asterisk. This seems like a weird thing to highlight, since all the books in this collection are written or at least illustrated by Asian makers, but this is SO RARE for topics on disability and indigenous culture. Hmm… INTERESTING.
Ages 3+
*The Nian Monster (China – Shanghai)
THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE BEST. Engaging, witty, funny. A new spin on the Nian monster folktale set in modern-day Shanghai.
Xingling is a quick-thinker and tricks the Nian monster into delaying his devour(ation?) of the entire city.
Our favorite device, repeated through the book: “Nian stroked one pointy horn… ‘You are wise, little one. [I will eat] Noodles first, then you, then the city.”
I Just LOVE the ridiculously mischief of this story, with this clever trickster girl. I love the images of the Nian monster wrecking up the place and people fleeing while clutching cell phones. I love how adorable and non-frightening this terrifying monster is, and I want a plush version of him.
I love how the story connects the decorations and traditions and foods we eat and what it has to do with the traditional folktale, in a new way that gives a girl power and agency.
I love the modern landmarks of Shanghai, re-imagined with a giant monster destroying them. I love this damn book so damn much.
Ages 1.5-6
*
Lunar New Year (Chinese New Year)
Illustrated by Alina Chau (same illustrator from The Nian Monster), but written by a white-presenting lady, this nice sturdy board book covers all the basics of Chinese New Year.
This book is the latest installment of the Celebrate The World holidays collection. Eliot has done a good job finding #OwnVoices illustrators for this series and I’m happy with all of them.
It’s well written, but…when I tried to read this adorable, didactic little book with the Earthquakes, they expected the excitement and adventure of Chau’s other books.
“On the first day of the Chinese calendar, the new moon is in the sky and the stars shine bright. It is time for a big celebration. This festival is known by many names: Chinese New Year, Spring Festival, and Lunar New Year. It marks the passage of the harvest season and celebrates the coming spring.”
You see what I mean? It’s inclusive, concise, and…boring. We haven’t managed to finish this since my kids toss it aside and head to the shelf to hunt for The Nian Monster. We’ve been spoiled.
Ages 9 months+
*New Clothes For New Year’s Day (Korean Seollal)
This one about the Korean New Year (Seollal) is a spectacular, simple book for littles.
The illustrations and story are engaging and beautiful. I am actually both bummed and baffled as to why this is the only book made by this author.
It’s also the only book that doesn’t mush all Eastern new-year celebrations together as if they are pale copycats of Chinese new year. This celebrated the beauty of Korean culture and allows the celebration to stand on its own.
The little girl in this story is excited to put on her new hanbok for New Year’s day! Such a sweet, simple book perfect for younger kids.
Ages 3+
*A New Year’s Reunion (Chinese New Year)
So this is a super cute story, but it’s also bittersweet and gives me FEELINGS that I’m not sure what to do with. I wish this book had a call to action – a specific act, an organization to reach out to.
We get a glimpse into a short few days in the life of a little girl (maybe 3ish) when she’s reunited with her father during Chinese New Year.
Her father is a migrant worker, which means he needs to travel hundreds (thousands?) of miles away to support his family, and they only see each other once a year for the holiday celebration.
::Initiate my silent, but constant, leak of tears::
Together, they do things mundane and transcendent – get haircuts, catch up on handy-work around the house, and snuggle together in bed, whispering late into the night.
We were walloped with the impact of migrant economies on families. We saw what it means to be mindful of every moment with someone we love, knowing it will end too soon.
Heartstrings -> pulled. I want this adorable little girl, with her stubby toddler legs and pudgy little cheeks to have her daddy every day. I want a better world for them.
I don’t know why I thought this was a problem only in America. Stories like Pancho Rabbit And The Coyote feel close-to-home. It feels like we have some control over the health and safety of migrant laborers by aiding local organizations. But ooof. This hardship is a global, human issue.
So for now, we’ll settle for reading stories like this to learn what’s going on. We’ll snuggle the babies we get to see every day. And we’ll keep fighting for economic equality and family rights. And we’ll teach our kids to fight for that, too.
You might also like: Galvanizing Books About Poverty That Inspire Kids To Give Back
Ages 3.5+
*Ten Mice For Têt! (Vietnamese Têt)
These iillustrations!
You can’t tell from the image online, but it looks like the artist embroidered the illustrations on every page of this book.
WHAAAT that is SO much work and such a labor of artistry!
The story is simple – it’s more of a counting book. From the story on its own, I can’t tell how Têt is any different than Chinese New Year, but the end-pages include some brief-but-helpful notes on the significance of the traditions on each page.
I wish these bits were included in the story, since that leaves the onus on adults to parse the end notes and explain it to kids (which means we don’t really NEED the book, just wikipedia). But it’s a good jumping off point.
Ages 4.5+
* Dragon New Year (Chinese New Year)
Oh! If your kids like traditional folktales, try this one too. I was a good runner-up, with some weight to it.
This author tends to do a story-within a story for his books, but it’s completely unnecessary and the outer story of a grandma and granddaughter are kind of boring. Q loved it (age 5.5), but only if we skipped the framing story around it.
The inner story is cool though – featuring a kick-ass elderly lady. Take THAT, ageism!
Mostly, my son loves it because it features a water dragon (his Chinese zodiac sign) and Buddha, who he’s been a fan of since he recently developed a love for anything having to do with The Monkey King.
Ages 3.5+
*Sam And The Lucky Money (Chinatown, US)
It’s rare to find a story that tells us a bit about cultural holidays without beating us over the head with traditions, foods, and details. I like that this story normalizes the lucky red envelopes we give to children on Chinese New Year, but I LOVE where the story takes it.
It always made me delighted-and-uncomfortable to receive lucky money on New Years. Yay, free money!
But also I get uncomfortable with getting gifts I didn’t earn (I guess it wouldn’t be a gift, then? The whole gift economy baffles me). In particular, it felt weird to get money just because I was a kid, when there were clearly more pressing, urgent matters adults needed cash for, like food and shelter.
So Sam gets $4 in his envelope, which is an inauspicious number in Chinese culture. So I guess the author was trying to make a point with the $4, but I’m not sure what it is.
He’s happy with it until he realizes that it won’t go far in a toy store. Cue inevitable grouchy entitled kid-behavior. Then he realizes that his $4 doesn’t seem like much to him – but it’s worth a lot to the homeless guy freezing outside with no shoes or socks on.
My only caveat for this story is those dated, bland, dreary illustrations popular in the 90’s, which turned the kids (and me) off.
It was good for a couple reads, but despite the helpful, timely moral while we celebrate the new year, they weren’t having it for more than a couple reads.
Ages 4.5+
*Dumpling Soup (Hawaii – US Island of Oahu)
A Hawaiian family on the island of Oahu celebrates the new year.
I’ll admit, this story is kind of didactic and boring, but it’s so rare to find a story featuring multiracial families, so I have to include it.
The family is mainly Korean, but includes Japanese, Chinese, Hawaiian & Haole (white) family members. They celebrate a mishmash new year together as a family, based mostly on Korean traditions.
Ages 6 months to 4 years
* Dragon Dance (China)
Throwing this in here not because it’s spectacular, but because of all the cutesy, didactic stories, this one held my toddler’s fascination better than the rest.
They cheat – there are flaps! But also the illustrations are cheery and cute, without stereotypical slant-eyes. The flaps are reasonably sturdy, so it works well for younger tots.
Ages 3.5+
*The Seven Gods of Luck (Japan) – Problematic
Still searching for a super-engaging story-based book featuring the Japanese new year, but for now, this kinda vanilla one will have to do.
Initially, I was not a huge fan of there being seven gods and the only woman is the goddess of beauty – but I was like, “Welp, patriarchy is a worldwide issue. Whatcha gonna do?”
After more research, I found that she’s actually the goddess of arts and knowledge, so why did the makers have to reduce her influence to just beauty?
And now I’m just angry. Why did this dude have to DO that?!
Ages 4+
*Japanese Traditions (Japan)
Oh gosh I’m dying, this is SUPER adorable. All the characters are kittens and cats. It’s not really about the Lunar New Year specifically – BUT COME ON. CATS.
The author goes through each month highlighting popular traditions and celebrations, plus everyday games they’d do for fun in the coldest days of winter, how they’d stay warm, crafts, games, typical dinners, seasonal activities and festivals. The end of book even has some search & find items.
This book must have taken forever to illustrate, and it’s so well thought-out you could plan a year around it. SO GOOD. So cute! ALSO: CATS!
(I like cats.)
Ages 3.5+
*This Next New Year (US – Multiracial Korean & Chinese character with friends of various ethnicities)
Another multiracial one! But also – still kiiiinda boring!
‘This Next New Year’ features a Korean/Chinese boy celebrating the new year, as well as his non-Chinese friends integrating their own spin on the lunar new year festivities.
Some of them are a little appropriation-y (like the French/German friend who gets Thai takeout to celebrate what we consider a significant cultural holiday) but the premise aims for inclusion.
Okay. Sure.
*New Year (USA)
Lo’s illustrations are gorgeous as usual. Centered on a recent immigrant from China to California, this is based on the author’s story from childhood. Both my 4.5 & 6.5-year-olds got sense of what it might feel like- and how embarrassing and unpleasant it is – to be the only kid who doesn’t speak the common language in a new school.
What I love most about this (aside from the author’s use of Cantonese “Gong hei fa choi!” when so many other books center Mandarin as the default language), is how he chose to show the American-Born Chinese (ABC) student’s reluctance to talk to him. How she resented being seated next to him and being saddled as his Cantonese interpreter.
I discussed with my kids how it felt as a kid to be the only Asian in a sea of white faces, and how pressured we feel to assimilate and not be seen as ‘the other.’ What it feels like when, as the only Asian kid in the class, teachers assume that we’ll automatically be friends with the other Asian kids. The author handles both the ABC and FOB (fresh off the boat) perspective well – and it gives us lots to talk about.
Stay Curious, Stand Brave & 恭禧發財!
This page is no longer updated, so visit the Books for Littles Expanded Lunar New Year Recommended Reading List, where I add new recommended Lunar New Year books each year.
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[Image: Interior illustration from ‘Clive And His Babies’ by Jessica Spanyol, featuring two male-presenting children gently nurturing their baby dolls.]
In this post: Children’s books celebrating nurturing fathers
[Image Description: Feature of an illustration within The Journey Trilogy, by Aaron Becker] The rest of the images in this post are book covers of titles referenced before the images.
Illustration-only picture books to foster independence in toddlers, preschoolers, and pre-reader
Raising Luminaries is free and accessible for readers who can’t afford a paywall. Posts may contain affiliate links, which allow me to earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Check out the full affiliate disclosure along with my statement of accountability. If you’re into supporting libraries (please do!) more than consumerism, you can also support my work directly:
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Five minutes of quiet
Five minutes of quiet, alone time, with no one hanging on you, screaming in you ear, or demanding to be picked up.
Five minutes of peace and quiet in the car, without screams and demands.
Five minutes to lie down without diapers to change, spit-up to clean, or a toddler to entertain.
When you’re a stay-at-home parent, alone-time (specifically calm, quiet alone time) is precious. That’s the genius behind wordless picture books. Your toddler can read them alone!
How to get the most out of illustration-only picture books
- Potty Training Bait:
Having a bin of books my kids could read independently next to the potty was a sanity-saver. We used elimination-communication (basically, potty-training from birth), which means lots of hours, for years, hanging out with a baby/toddler on the potty, entertaining him and convincing him not to wander off and pee on the rug. - Anti-Screaming Travel Device:
My first kid was a car-screamer, meaning he screamed non-stop for the first year he was in the car. Before he could use his hands, I’d have to drive with one hand on the wheel and the other twisted into the backseat so he could hold my finger. Once he was old enough to hold a book open, these distracted him for short periods and bought me precious quiet miles on the road. - Independence Trainer:
My spirited son needs full, non-stop attention during all waking hours, so he was constantly asking me to read books to him. Sometimes, I just needed a break. Or to cook, do laundry, or close my eyes and re-evaluate my life choices for five minutes. Armed with a book without words, I was able to argue “You don’t need me to read this one to you – you can read it yourself!” - Sibling Facilitator:
My boys are two years apart, and they get along well. But envy and jealousy pops up occasionally, and when that happens, it’s easy to redirect them and help them work as a team. They can ‘read’ books with no words to each other, or alongside one another as a break from arguing.
If you’re going to raise kind and brilliant little humans, they need to learn how to operate independently.
Independent non-word ‘reading’ is a great start to independent learning. Below, you’ll find the most engaging illustration-only books that I used to keep my marbles when I was stuck at home alone with one (and then two) small children.
Quiet Stories of Kindness & Cooperation
Sidewalk Flowers, Mr. Wuffles, The Girl And The Bicycle
Snowman’s Story, I See You is little savior-y and not my thing, but it’s popular. Sigh.), South
Fox’s Garden (Caveat – the author also wrote ‘The Snow Rabbit’, which is ableist. But this one is okay.) I Walk With Vanessa, Boat of Dreams
Big Adventures, Zero Words
The Journey Trilogy, Flotsam, The Umbrella, Sector 7, Little Fox In The Forest
Silent Friendships
The Flora Series, The Snow Rabbit, Bee & Me
Quiet Mini-Stories
Blue Chameleon, Float, Wonder Bear
Fantastical What-Ifs
Perennial Classics
The Red Book, Changes, Changes, The Carl Series
Busy Busy Details
Surreal Silent Stories
Stay Curious, Stand Brave & Take A Break
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[Image description: Illustration from They, She, He, Me: Free To Be!, by Maya Gonzalez. Three smiling people with light-brown skin of nonbinary gender, with dark hair of different lengths and green and white clothing.]
Not sure how to explain the difference between sex and gender with your kids? If you’re looking for inclusive, age-appropriate, and body-positive books to understand the difference between assigned-sex-at-birth and gender, this picture-book guide is for you.
MORE IN THIS SERIES
First Talks About Body Boundaries
Raising Luminaries is free and accessible for readers who can’t afford a paywall. Posts may contain affiliate links, which allow me to earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Check out the full affiliate disclosure along with my statement of accountability.
105: Talking With Kids About Gender
Building A Framework Of Acceptance & Inclusion
Genitals and assigned sex at birth don’t automatically determine a person’s gender. I’ve explained that to my kids countless times, but we hadn’t gone over the many (MANY) things the outside world teaches them to assume are innately masculine or feminine, like facial hair.
Expansive books on the spectrum and fluidity of gender give my kids a safe, age-appropriate space to question the rigid binary messages they’ve been told. Thanks to these books, they continue to think critically about why only some kids are allowed to own their masculinity and femininity.
It gives them the courage to challenge these assumptions.
From left-to-right, and top-to-bottom, you can introduce these books in a pace that feels right to you, answering kids’ questions as they go. If you’re not ready for these books yet, check out our basic books on anatomy and body awareness, then come back here.
- They She He Me (pronouns, nonbinary, gender fluidity & spectrum, breaking gender constructs)
- Introducing Teddy (transgender)
- Red (transgender, invisible disabilities)
- From the Stars In The Sky To The Fish In The Sea (nonbinary, gender fluidity)
- Worm Loves Worm (nonbinary, gender fluidity, marriage rights)
- Neither (nonbinary, spectrum)
- *A Princess Of Great Daring (transgender, breaking gender constructs
- Lovely (gender spectrum, breaking gender constructs)
- I Am Jazz (transgender, women’s history)
- The Gender Wheel* (nonbinary, gender fluidity & spectrum, whitewashing, colonization, breaking gender constructs)
- *47,000 Beads (nonbinary, two-spirit) – Only available in a 6-book set with other Flamingo Rampant books, unless you can catch it while it’s sold as a book-of-the-month.
- George (transgender, chapter book for older readers)
*Disclosure: I got access to a free digital version of ‘A Princess of Great Daring’ & ‘47,000 Beads’ from the publisher, Flamingo Rampant.
Ages 2+
Ages 3-6
Ages 2.5+
Ages 3+
Ages 3.5+
Ages 2.5+
Age: Unsure, didn’t test with my kids
Ages 3+
Ages 4+
Ages 5.5+
Ages 5+
Ages 8+
The only book that shows genitals is The Gender Wheel – and the reading level is for older kids anyway. The product page guide says 4-8, but the flowery, didactic text is probably best for ages 5.5+. (Or older, if you’ve got spirited kids who can’t sit through didactic books.) By the time your kids are old enough for it, you’ll be ready to say words like ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’ out loud. Go ahead and start practicing now. It gets easier.
VULVA. See? Six years ago there’s now way I would have typed that on my website. Progress! Destigmatizing! Shameless!
I used to recommend Who Are You as a starter book for preschoolers, but I recently found out that white cisgender authors plagiarized The Gender Wheel, appropriating and whitewashing the labor of Maya Christina Gonzalez, a queer Chicana woman. (…Yeah.) Don’t buy it, and don’t check it out of the library (libraries track that). Let it fade into obliviousness.
Breaking Gender Constructs
Books featuring kids using binary pronouns, empowered and self-accepting while breaking cultural gender norms. This mainly focuses on kids who use male pronouns, since breaking gender constructs is increasingly already acceptable for girls & women.
Most of these books are validating – meaning they are meant to show kids that they are not alone, be careful and ad-lib when reading these to kids who haven’t already internalized gender constructs. I’m particularly cautious about how we read lines such as “Girls can be doctors, too,” which suggest that gender roles are normal and this one character is an outlier. Nah.
Kids using he/him/his
Validating books about boys rockin’ skirts: Jacob’s New Dress and Morris Micklewhite And The Tangerine Dress are both wonderful. My younger son and I prefer the illustrationsand dreamy quality of Morris, but my son connected with Jacob’s Dress easier. Sparkle Boy had some unrealistic sibling conflict resolution and centered the feelings of a bigoted sister, so I’m not a huge fan of it, even though it does normalize a multi-ethnic family (Latinx/white). My Princess boy featured some creepy faceless characters and the story was solidly meh? although we did like the real-life photos at the end. 10,000 Dresses was solidly bizarre, confusing, negative, and a little creepy in execution, so I’d read that one with caution. I liked the idea behind One Of A Kind, Like Me, but we found the story disengaging. Reading it was kind of like running a very boring, yet stressful, shopping errand.
See our reader discussion on Julián is a Mermaid. While it’s still a lovely book I recommend, we need to be aware of some cultural whitewashing.
The Boy & The Bindi, Want To Play Trucks? What Can A Citizen Do (caveat, this book runs of the rails a little. The weird bear citizen kinda ruins the message.), Charlie & Mouse (Mouse wears a tutu, it’s no big deal), Teddy’s Favorite Toy.
You Might Like: 6 Mistakes We Make Raising Boys: Preventing Sexual Assault
Kids using she/her/hers
The Ballad of Mulan, Phoebe & Digger, The Paper Bag Princess, Teeny Tiny Toady, Lucía the Luchadora, Drum Dream Girl
Also decent, but not pictured because they were less engaging and we’re running out of space: Not All Princesses Dress In Pink, What Do Grown-Ups Do All Day, A Fire Engine For Ruthie, Beautiful.
You might also like: Boys Need Books About Girls: Normalizing Kickass Girls Of Color
Stay Curious, Stand Brave & Let Your Kids Be Happy
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