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Nonbinary People’s Day

When is it?

• July 14th

Read

• Neither (Ages 3.5-8)
  Still a favorite in our family – a simple, cute story that helps kids understand how strict binary labels harms individuals and makes society tediously boring.
• From the Stars in the Sky to the Fish in the Sea (Ages 3-8)
  #OwnVoices story of growing up gender fluid, with a fun twist of magical realism.
• Ho’onani: Hula Warrior (Ages 4-8)
  Decolonizing gender, with a true biography of a nonbinary Hawaiian kiddo with a trans guiding mentor.

Discuss

Reflection Press has oodles of great resources for discussing gender, so let’s not re-invent the gender wheel (I think this is a pun! Which you will understand once you click through to the resources. We do like to have fun here.)

• Reflection Press’s Free Gender Questionnaire: a worksheet for kids to assess their understanding of gender as a spectrum, and how to understand their own gender identity.
• Gender Wheel Curriculum, companion resources to understand, discuss, and explore the gender spectrum.

Small Actions:

• Default to ‘they/them‘ pronouns for unspecified story characters
  Unless their pronouns are explicit, or we’re making up for an unbalanced gendered story. After years of doing this, the kids correct us when we presume binary genders in both stories and real life (and we all mess up sometimes).

• Make space for your kiddo to experiment with pronouns
  For an hour, a day, or forever, make an effort to respect that. When of my kiddos tried out new pronouns every day, I just wrote them on his forehead for easy reference. If you’re against marking up your kids, maybe use post-its and safety pins. I trust you to get creative.

Small Actions for cisgender folks:

• Respect pronouns:

If someone tells you they’re nonbinary or gender creative, even if you perceive them as cisgender, believe them.

If a person identifies as nonbinary, but use binary pronouns (ex: she, he), use their pronouns.

If a person uses pronouns you’re not used to, or changes pronouns frequently, make a little effort to keep up. If you mess up, just correct yourself and move on, without making a big deal out of it. If you’re unsure, ask.

• Normalize explicit pronouns

When we normalize the idea that our pronouns are not implied by how strangers perceive us, this makes it safer for folks with nonbinary identities and gender presentations to share theirs.

Even if your pronouns and gender presentation match up, by using explicit pronouns with others, we demonstrate that it’s not normal or useful to assume our pronouns based on what we look like.

• Explicitly state your pronouns in everyday life

Tell folks your pronouns when you introduce yourself.

Add your pronouns in your email signature.

Add your pronouns in your social media profile.

Add them to your Zoom name.

More resources to dig deeper:

• Beyond the Binary: Why We Need Gender Creative Characters In Kidlit
• Talking With Kids About The Gender Spectrum