Let’s explore appreciation and gratitude

Gratitude is using the concept of being worse-off and leveraging that relief to feel better about our situation. Appreciation is staying mindful of how things are in the moment as a centering practice to remember what really matters.

Be wary of gratitude exercises out of context

Comparing ourselves to others, or even to a past or imaginary version of ourselves is using someone else’s experience to feel better, and that’s a fine line connecting us to the roots of comparison, shame, and supremacy.

Gratitude is a big part of American culture, and a key difference between the colonizer view of a gratitude-based American Thanksgiving and the original appreciation-based observances of Indigenous cultures throughout Turtle Island.

Gratitude is also a big factor in exercises such as fasting during the month of Ramadan, where people fast as an empathy practice to relinquish arrogance and take action to channel this pain toward humility and generous action.

And we’d be silly to erase gratitude as a significant byproduct of what we do here in Raising Luminaries, particularly when we’re reading stories about kids who have it worse than we do. At the same time, it’d be unrealistic to live in ‘happiness appreciation journal land‘ (aka White Lady Instagram) where we wrap ourselves in bubbles of Goop and erase or ignore the people who don’t have the same access we do.

Gratitude can the gateway to a much-needed reality check. My concern with gratitude exercises is that we focus on the exercise and the feelings but rarely channel all that energy into action. What are we doing with the knowledge and emotion generated from a gratitude exercise? Are we taking responsibility for the gap, and going out to change the world? Or are we using the stories of folks who have less to generate a self-serving sense of relief or smug superiority?

So let’s unpack this. To disentangle the difference between gratitude and appreciation, we’ll start by helping kids understand what gratitude means, and the roots of ‘Stop complaining, it could be worse‘ or ‘But there are starving kids in Africa!‘

Books on gratitude

• A Squash and a Squeeze (ages 3+)
• Those Shoes (ages 5+)
• Last Stop on Market Street (ages 4+)

Books on appreciation

Read

• My Heart Fills with Happiness (ages 6 months – 4 years)
• The Table Where Rich People Sit (ages 6+)
• The Little Things (ages 4-8) Caveat for stigmatizing language against older adults

Discuss:

• What’s the difference between gratitude and appreciation?
• How does gratitude make us feel? How does appreciation make us feel?
• How do each of these feelings comfort, motivate, or hold us back from taking action?

Take Action: Show appreciation for your community helpers

Via Revolutionary Humans, Kindness As An Action, Day 7 of 25.

Brainstorm ideas or add your own ways to show appreciation for your community helpers:

• • Doodle a note of appreciation
  • Call or email a kind note
  • Make too many snacks – then share some of those snacks!

How do you show appreciation to your community helpers?

More resources to dig deeper into this topic:

• Kids Stories Cultivating Gratitude & Appreciation
• Birthday books for kind & generous kids
• Post-Consumerism For Kids
• Decolonizing Thanksgiving is an Oxymoron

Mahavir Jayanti

Another major religious holiday, this one celebrated in Jainism, where I can’t find any kid-friendly resources. For now, we’ll be discussing the significance of Jainism.

I’ll be keeping my eye out. I won’t hold my breath though – one of the principles of Jainism is not getting too attached to things – and writing, publishing, and sending a book out into the world might make detachment a little hard to do.

I’ve got plenty of adult resources to sort through, and a few Youtube cartoon videos the Earthquakes resented watching. But if you are a Jain and have any kid-engaging books or videos on the birth of Mahavira, any of the Tirthankara (great sages), or even on the principles Jainism, I hope you’ll comment below to share them with us!

Read:

• Mahavira: The Hero of Nonviolence

When is it? 

• The 14th day of the waxing moon during the Hindu month of Caitra, marking the birth of Lord Mahavir, founder of Jainism
• This usually falls between March or April on the Gregorian calendar

Parenting is Praxis:

1. Read Be The Change: A Grandfather Gandhi Story.
   Gandhi was not a Jain, but he was inspired by the Jain values of non-violence, which was instrumental in his campaign for India’s independence from British colonialism. This story explains the longer-reaching elements of non-violence well.
2. Discuss how non-violence intersects with our commitments from Earth Day (see above).
3. Discuss one new small family habit we can choose to reduce harm and ripple out non-violence in our daily life. (For example, reducing single-use plastic with vegan floss and toothpaste tablets.)

LGBTQiA2S+ Day of Silence

With legislators and facist parents banning any book that affirms the existence of LGBTQi2S+ youth in schools, preventing these kids from receiving healthcare, and targeting vulnerable members of the community – this observance grows more and more important each year.

I have no magic tricks to get young kids to stay silent for 30 seconds, never mind a day. But I just wanted you to know about this, in case you have older kids who are interested in participating. From GLSEN:

“The GLSEN Day of Silence is a national student-led demonstration where LGBTQ students and allies  all around the country—and the world—take a vow of silence to protest the harmful effects of harassment and discrimination of LGBTQ people in schools.”

“Started in the mid 90’s by two college students, the Day of Silence has expanded to reach hundreds of thousands of students each year. Every April, students go through the school day without speaking, ending the day with Breaking the Silence rallies and events to share their experiences during the protest and bring attention to ways their schools and communities can become more inclusive.”

When is it?

• April 23rd on the Gregorian calendar

Read

• Our Rainbow (ages 1+)
• Jacob’s Room to Choose (ages 5+)
• Pride: The Story of Harvey Milk and the Rainbow Flag (ages 4+)

R2’s School drawing with nonbinary, trans, and rainbow pride flag

Parenting is Praxis:

1. 1. If you have openly LGBTQiA2S+ friends who are interested in sharing (do not pressure!) – ask them what actions you could take to help them feel safer at school.
   2. If they want to tell you – listen when they tell you about their experiences about feeling unsafe and unwelcome at school. It helps just to be heard and believed sometimes.

Kid-Designed Action: Advocate & Normalize Gender Diversity in your school

Designed by a gender-creative nonbinary kiddo who had been picked on in the bathroom and wanted to spread acceptance for bathroom choice:

1. 1. Do a web search with the kids to learn more about the different types and evolution of pride flags.
   2. Create posters to hang in your home or classroom that advocate for the safety and welcoming of all LGBTQiA2S+ kiddos.
   3. Ask a local leader if they are willing to hang your poster in school, city hall, church, etc. near the bathrooms.
   4. Discuss what you can do to help LGBTQiA2S+ kids feel welcomed as their whole selves in school, and how to create safer/braver spaces where they can speak up about their experiences.

Family-Action: Support LGBTQiA2S+ Representation in Kidlit

“Last year was a challenging year for our indie press and the larger LGBTQIA+ community and the bans and coordinated attacks on our community have only continued to intensify this year.”

“That’s why we feel it ‘s important for us to get this book out NOW. The Gender & Infinity Book for Kids is a remedy-based framework. It roots resilience deep in the power of nature, and helps heal the impact of gender oppression and preempt its internalization.”

Share the campaign page for Reflection Press’s efforts to create better LGBTQiA2S+ kidlit, and donate if you can.

More resources to dig deeper

• Kids Stories on LGBTQiA2S+ History
• 6 Kids Books For Trans Day of Resilience, plus more Transgender Representation & Resilience for Kids
• Beyond the Binary: Why We Need Gender Creative Characters In Kidlit
• Queer Rainbow Children’s Books By Indigenous, Black & Brown Authors
• Love Is Love Is Love – Diverse Family Constellations In Kids Books
• The Trevor Project offers has text, phone, and chat options for young LGBTQ+ people in crisis.

Raising Luminaries & Books for Littles are free and accessible for readers who can’t afford a paywall. Check out the full affiliate disclosure along with my statement of accountability.

Earth Day & Arbor Day

You know what Earth Day is. Let’s do some good stuff for the Earth!

When is it?

• Earth day is April 22nd on the Gregorian calendar
• Arbor day is the last Friday in April

Read

• Rocket Says Clean Up (ages 3-7)
• Mario and the Hole in the Sky (ages 6-9)
• Seeds of Change (ages 6+)

Parenting is Praxis: Commit to doing 1 small thing

1. Check out the Bingo chart from our Climate Justice Toolkit.
2. Schedule five of these actions in your calendar over 30 days.

Q plays gentle with the baby /s

More resources to dig deeper:

1. Check out more books on intersectional climate justice
2. Stories & discussion guide for International Day of Forests
3. Check out the Climate Justice Toolkit, created by our community member and the author of Growing Sustainable Together, Shannon Brescher Shea.

Festival of Ridván

I can’t get my hands on any engaging books on the Bahá’í faith. There are some stories that point out it exists (okaaay) and didactic stories with painful rhyming, but the Earthquakes do a hard NOPE to that sort of story.

Ridván is a (the?) most significant holiday of the Bahá’í year, but I still haven’t found a good resource to help non-practicing kids understand why it’s important. So let’s explore videos.

For older kids (maybe 10+), here’s a primer and brief introduction to the Bahá’í faith (went too fast for my 8yo) and what is Bahá’í (went on too long and my kids lost interest).

If you have older kids (6+) who are already familiar with Bahá’í practices, this video on ‘What is Ridván‘ could work. But without a basic primer on the faith, it just left us newbies more confused. And this one, ‘The Baha’i Festival of Ridvan for children‘ is a close shot – but you’re gonna have to prepare kids to explain terms like ‘spiritual,’ ‘promised one,’ and ‘paradise.’

The Earthquakes are familiar with major world religions and what ‘religion’ is – but us secular folks can find a good intro book explaining the Bahai’i faith, we’re gonna have to settle for trying to explain it in our own words. Worth noting that while kids books on Bahá’í festivals exist – I can’t find any that are published by mainstream publishers, which essentially bans them from libraries and schools.

Read

Still searching for decent books on people of the Bahá’í faith. While none of them are explicit, it’s worth checking out stories about our first Bahá’í Astronaut, Ronald McNair, in Ron’s Big Mission.

There’s also a book I haven’t been able to get my hands on Warrior Grandma, about Bahá’í Lakota educator Patricia Locke. If you’ve read it, please do tell us your thoughts!

When is it?

• Begins at sunset on the 13th day of the Bahá’í month of Jalál, and lasts 12 days
• The start usually falls on April 20-21 on the Gregorian calendar.

Parenting is Praxis: Guided Discussion

• Adults: Learn about gatekeeping in the publishing industry.
• Discuss with kids:
  • What religions have we learned about in books and TV?
  • Which religious festivals have we studied and talked about?
  • Which religions are easy to learn about at our local library?
  • Which religions are harder to find books and shows about?
  • Who chooses the books in our library? And how?
    (Hint: most libraries won’t purchase books unless they’re published by the big 4 or reviewed by mainstream media outlets – and alllll these organizations are run by folks who hold privileged identities so…)
  • Why are books on some religions and festivals hard, or impossible, to find?
  • How [does /would] it make you feel if your local library had tons of books on dominant religions, didn’t have any books about the traditions that center your core cultural and spiritual values?

Photo by Daniel K Cheung on Unsplash

Velociraptor Awareness Day!!!

I just wanted you to know.

When is it?

• Annually on the 18th of April on the Gregorian calendar

Parenting is Praxis: Beware!

Just like Autistic people, Velociraptors are not something you need to be particularly be afraid of – but clutch your pearls and get your bewareness on, nonetheless!

Let’s all take this opportunity to FREAK OUT so we can distract ourselves from the real problems of climate devastation and systemic injustice! Will getting a vaccine turn your child into a bloodthirsty, extinct dinosaur?! There’s only one way to find out!

Discuss:

1. Talk with kids about why cloning endangered species isn’t enough – and why we need to create a habitat for existing endangered species.

Remember, If you’ve met one extinct animal with velociraptorism, you’ve met one extinct animal with velociraptorism.*

1. Take that as an excuse to shut down any velociraptor who tries to explain how extinction impacts them or how they are personally harmed by it.
2. I mean, you probably have a kid whose best-friend’s sister is into velociraptors! So you know what’s best for velociraptors better than any velociraptor.

*Do you hear how ridiculous this all sounds? Please stop using it to silence Autistic self-advocates.

Call to action:

1. Watch out for velociraptors. Those fuckers are fast.
2. If you have the privilege of health and access, get vaccinated.
   1. Even if you do turn into an autistic velociraptor!
   2. (You won’t.)
   3. Because vaccines don’t cause velociraptorism!
   4. But also why would it be so bad if you did?
   5. What do you have against velociraptors?!

Festival of Vaisakhi

I’m still learning about the spring harvest festival of Vaisakhi (observed by both Hindus and Sikhs, in different ways).

For Hindus, it’s marked by a festival at the start of the solar new year and the start of spring. I don’t have any kid-friendly resources on that – so if you do, please share in the comments!

For Sikhs, it’s a religious historical event centered in resistance against tyranny and forced assimilation. We’ll focus on Sikhism this year because that’s what I’ve got!

When is it?

• On the first day of the month of Vaisakha, the Hindu & Sikh solar new year.
• Falls on 13th or 14th of April on the Gregorian calendar.

Read:

• Let’s Celebrate Vaisakhi!
  I’ll be honest this is not a great book. It’s fine for teaching kids about Vaisakhi in a classroom, but there’s no story or depth on why Sikhs celebrate the holiday.
• The Garden of Peace
  This is not about Vaisakhi, but more about the principles of inclusion and defiance against authoritarianism central to Sikhism. It’s also gorgeous and written by my friend Navjot, an #OwnVoices Sikh indie publisher. (She gave me this copy for free).

Discuss:

• “They tried to bury us, but they didn’t know we were seeds.” (Dino C. (1931-2020) wasn’t Sikh or Hindu, but this quote comes to mind. )

Parenting is Praxis: Learning about Sikh Social Justice

1. Adults: Check out the maker spotlight on Navjot Kaur on responsible representation of the Sikh identity in kidlit.
2. Check out the guide, 8 ways to include Vaisakhi in the classroom.

The Month of Ramadan

When is it?

• The month of Ramadan takes place during the 9th lunar month of the Islamic calendar, starting from the sighting of one crescent moon to the next (about 29-31 days).
• The official start is determined by local moon sighting committees, so start dates depend on where you are local to and/or which authorities you follow.
• Eid al-Fitr marks the end of the month, when the next crescent moon has been sighted or after 30 days if folks can’t see the moon.

Read

• The Gift of Ramadan (ages 4-8)
• Amira’s Picture Day (ages 4-8)
• My Grandma and Me (ages 4-8)
• Lailah’s Lunchbox
• Ramadan Moon
• Hafiz and the Raya Recipes

I’m delighted to report that there have been more and more engaging stories centering the holiday published in the last few years, so we no longer have to settle for “This is about the month of Ramadan” and can now get picky about which #OwnVoices Muslim stories are the most fun to read.

There are plenty of books about the holiday – but most focus on the surface, the behaviors (fasting, donating, etc.) instead of the principles and theology these traditions represent. These are the non-didactic, engaging stories the Earthquakes have enjoyed over the years. As they get older, we’re able to dig deeper into the principles and the values of Islam – which connect to us as non-Muslims with our Muslim friends.

Now all we need is way more stories centering Muslim characters beyond an intro to the month of Ramadan.

Discuss (for non-Muslim kids)

1. What is the *Month of Ramadan?
2. Who celebrates it, and why?
3. What principles and values do people celebrate this month?
4. How can we support our friends who observe the month of Ramadan?
   Examples:

• • Make space so observing is accessible, but don’t assume folks celebrate the month.
  • Don’t eat or drink during zoom chats (many families are food insecure so we try to avoid this anyway.)
  • Walk a little slower with kids who are observing if they’re feeling faint.
  • Learn how to intervene as a bystander if kids are getting comments at school for for skipping lunch.
  • Write a letter to your boss, your school principal, or talk with teachers asking them to make welcoming accommodations for families and extend school deadlines to make space for Eid celebrations.
  • Speak up at school planning events to ask that some fundraisers be alcohol-free, offer halal treat options, and to make time for folks who need extra time for prayers.

*When talking about the practices, observance, and the holiday, why do say “The month of Ramadan‘ instead of just the name of the month alone? (‘Ramadan‘ is another name for Allah in instructional and holy writings, referring to a calendar month by this name alone is disrespectful.)

Call to action:

1. Choose stories centering Muslim characters that are not about the month of Ramadan. Schedule a time to read them together between June – March.
2. Do the things you discussed above!

More Resources to dig deeper:

• Kids stories featuring people observing the Month of Ramadan
• Stories centering Muslim characters that are not about the month of Ramadan

Eid al-Fitr

When is it?

• The first day of Shawwal in the Islamic calendar
• 2022: May 3
• 2023: April 22
• 2024: March 31
• 2025: March 20

Read:

• Amal’s Eid (disclosure: Sailaja of Mango & Marigold Press is a member of the RL Patreon community)

Watch

• How to be a Good Ally to Muslims During the month of Ramadan [3:16m best for ages 5+]

Discuss

•  How can we support friends and family who celebrate Ramadan when they come over to play?
• How can we support our friends in the classroom?
• How can we support our friends during snack and lunch time?

More Resources to dig deeper:

• Read stories celebrating and normalizing Muslim families all year long, not just during the month of Ramadan.

Easter

Read

• The Easter Story
• Miracle Man

When is it?

• The first Sunday following the full moon after the spring equinox, sometime in March or April.

Despite being baptized Catholic, I still don’t know much about Easter beyond ashy foreheads, a special type of Friday, and Giant Rabbits That Poop Chocolate Eggs (??!) nor how that weird mess connects with the resurrection of Jesus.

So you know what? I’m gonna defer to these three great resources for progressive, interfaith-positive, intersectional feminist Christians who are all members of our Raising Luminaries Community. I like, admire, and trust these friends to explain this way better than I can:

• The Illustrated Children’s Ministry – want your bible study / Sunday school / church place to be more proactive in seeking social justice? This is where you can find progressive, anti-ableist, anti-supremacist lessons reminding folks that Jesus was an abolitionist and private prisons for profit are messed up.
• Holy Troublemakers & Unconventional Saints – sign up for the newsletter! Daneen’s newsletters feel like a big dose of love but she doesn’t flood your inbox.
• Parenting Forward Podcast with Cindy Wang Brandt – supporting families interested in deconstructing the toxic supremacy and exclusion of fundamentalist Christianity. Click here to hear my interview with Cindy from 2018.
• Progressive Asian American Christians – Intersectionally progressive group founded by Liz Lin & Lydia Shui. Inclusive for Asian & Pacific Islanders.