Getting uncomfortable, staying open, and taking a firm stance on the deep work of kyriarchy-smashing is… important! Most of the time!

But sometimes we need to just laugh and goof off and stop… performing as if the whole world is watching.

Like, hey – can we just chill out and catch a movie together?

(And maybe rant about the problematic parts. Not in a way where we have to be the most insufferably wokeiest person in the Facebook comments – but in a way that releases some steam, y’know?)

Over the past couple years, our Family Movie Night posts have been the dependable favorite in our LBT group.* So as we migrate our community to this new fun playspace – let’s lighten things up for Family Movie Night once a month.

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How we raise critical thinkers beyond kidlit

Now that the Earthquakes are not-so-little, they’re less interested in cuddling up with me, a picture book about genocide, and my ridiculous character voices.

So continue our training on critical thinking, unpacking cultural supremacy, and being unreasonably nitpicky (our family vibe), we found solace and sanity unpacking a classic kids movie together every week through the pandemic.

Now that the kids are back to school, and we’re not ALWAYS ON TOP OF EACH OTHER ALL OF THE TIME (sweet relief!), we’re continuing our pandemic tradition in the form of a monthly family movie.

This is our time to share a slightly(?) more-equitable experience as a family. Laughing together in a space where us adults aren’t the experts pushing the Earthquakes to use a napkin or pick their dirty socks up off the floor. We’re all sharing this movie together as beginners.

Check out the ever-growing archive in our Family Movie Night Collection – and be sure to tell us how you discuss each film with your kids!

(A few of our FMN posts will be unlocked here through October for public view as our community slowly migrates over to this new space.)

Every month, we take a beat to examine supremacy culture, and our responsibility to unpack it within ourselves and our communities.

Riffing each month’s obstacle,* we explore how tackling our ‘small,’ individual challenges in the Collaboration Laboratory can reveal and address larger, systemic inequality.

AND! How working together to build accessible, inclusive solutions to our personal challenges can help those way beyond our little collective.**

Since almost every problem big and small in our society has roots in the supremacy-fueled kyriarchy, we’re calling these collective discussions the Dismantling Supremacy Series.

So while every month we address seemingly-small, innocuous problems nagging our individual members, we are actually starting radically transformative anti-oppression work, starting at home with our families, friends and colleagues – the folks who we have a deep and significant ability to influence.

In addition to making a deeper impact – solving our own challenges and helping those we love is way more fun than arguing with anonymous anti-vaxxers on Instagram. This work, this power we hold – it’s a privilege and we should honor that by directing our attention, focus, and love to those who can make the most of it.

Smashing the kyriarchy should be life-sustaining, not life-threatening.

Instead of holding the world up on our own, we need to be doing this work in community with each other – even when we can’t scratch out time to hang out in real life or volunteer for 20 hours of community service every week.

As caregivers and educators managing our own disabilities and challenges while keeping others alive, we can acknowledge the reasons we can’t do everything without using these as excuses to not do anything.

So this is what I mean when I harp on why activism work shouldn’t be in addition to the busy schedules and care work we’re already doing. Action for social change must be embedded in our kids’ lives. 

Our kids need to see a connection between the issues that matter most to them (obtaining more candy and minecraft netherite, getting Bowie to stop picking on them at recess) and how growing into their courage and kindness as a social justice activist solves those problems while helping others.

So we model that for them by examining our own challenges, how they connect to us helping each other, and show them that care work and activism isn’t something we do to rescue others, but a regular human thing we all do to be happier and… I guess mine more netherite?

You’re not obligated to join us in these discussions – but you’ll get some deep satisfaction if you do.

But if you’re willing to spend 15 minutes a week adding your reflections, this helps us all feel less alone. Knowing there are other families out there who are facing the same challenges, who have advice, who appreciate the stories we have to share.

Anyhoo – next week, we lighten things up with a new Family Movie Night recap. ‘Cause while getting open, vulnerable, and helpful is all well-and-good, but sometimes we need to just rant and laugh and goof off and watch a movie together.

For our family – now that the not-so-little Earthquakes are all like “Mom, I don’t want to read this baby book about monopolies and unchecked capitalism with you.” The thing my kids are interested in doing together with us is a monthly Family Movie Night.

So let’s meet the Earthquakes where they’re at and ALSO let me just tell you, GOSH kids’ movies are traaaash. Might as well have fun with it and turn my personal annoyance into a personal learning opportunity and community vent!

(Also I’m curious, What’s your weekly family ritual?)

With you,

Ashia

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*Remember? this month we’re sharing our favorite Rainy Day Family Activism Activities? Beyond the surface of just sharing resources – what compels us to ‘enrich’ our kids during every waking moment? Why does the work of occupying our kids fall disproportionately on women & femmes? How can we think deeper about the issues surrounding overwhelmed caregivers, the lack of respite care, and the band-aid solutions of us individually searching for self-guided activities so we can get a moment of peace?

**Like how nerding out about kids books on Books For Littles engaged thousands of folks in a movement to increase diverse representation in kids’ books, inspiring thousands of families to dismantle the kyriarchy from home? See? It works!