RAISING LUMINARIES

Hi, I’m Ashia, founder & Head Custodian of Infodumpery for Raising Luminaries.

I create free tool kits to help overworked caregivers ignite the next generation of leaders.

ABOUT | MISSION | FINANCIALS | ACCOUNTABILITY

Published: Last Updated on

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT

STAY IN TOUCH

Join the Benevolent Incendiary Society & get a free monthly email update with helpful book collections

Get free monthly email notifications when I add new resources to our Family Action Toolkits

HELP

JOIN OUR COMMUNITY

SHOP

Posts may contain affiliate links and  sponsorships, which allow me to earn a commission at no extra cost to you.

AFFILIATE POLICY

PARTNERS IN CAHOOTS

TOPICS

CONTACT

Sponsor or Volunteer to contribute to this toolkit and keep it free for everybody.

You’re welcome to share & boost this toolkit, with attribution to Raising Luminaries.

Join the Benevolent Incendiary Society

Get exclusive email updates when I add new resources to our Family Action Toolkits

RAISING LUMINARIES

Hi, I’m Ashia, founder & Head Custodian of Infodumpery for Raising Luminaries.

I create free tool kits to help overworked caregivers ignite the next generation of leaders.

ABOUT | MISSION | FINANCIALS | ACCOUNTABILITY

Published: Last Updated on

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT

STAY IN TOUCH

Join the Benevolent Incendiary Society & get a free monthly email update with helpful book collections

Get free monthly email notifications when I add new resources to our Family Action Toolkits

HELP

JOIN OUR COMMUNITY

SHOP

Posts may contain affiliate links and  sponsorships, which allow me to earn a commission at no extra cost to you.

AFFILIATE POLICY

PARTNERS IN CAHOOTS

TOPICS

CONTACT

Sponsor or Volunteer to contribute to this toolkit and keep it free for everybody.

You’re welcome to share & boost this toolkit, with attribution to Raising Luminaries.

Home Book Collections Books to help kids process separation Anxiety & Parting Grief

Books to help kids process separation Anxiety & Parting Grief

via Ashia
Published: Last Updated on 15.6k views

[Image Descriptions: Cover of The Kissing Hand, by Audrey Penn, Ruth E. Harper & Nancy M. Leak.]

Whether transitioning to a big-kid bed, sharing attention with a new baby, saying goodbye every morning, or grieving the pain of being apart from someone we love, these are the most effective books I’ve found to help my Little Earthquakes get through separation grief and anxiety.

Raising Luminaries is free and accessible for readers who can’t afford a paywall. Posts may contain affiliate links, which allow me to earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Check out the full affiliate disclosure along with my statement of accountability. If you’re into supporting libraries (please do!) more than consumerism, you can also support my work directly:

Donate or shop using an affiliate link via| Paypal | Venmo | Ko-fi | Buy a t-shirt | Buy a book


Universally Helpful For Separation from Loved Ones

Ages 2.5+

The Kissing Hand

I didn’t actually think this would work, but after some separation anxiety at bedtime because of a lot of big changes, Q found The Kissing Hand extremely reassuring after just one read when he was two-and-a-half.

I’ve been able to use it to solve many issues since we read it. It’s also adorable to see him play it out in real life.

I switched the words around a bit so it was less about ‘school’ and more about just when someone he loves has to be in a different place for a while. Q made his baby brother give him a ‘kissing hand’ and held it up to his cheek while saying “Baby brother loves me!”

And I just DIE. Right there on the floor. DEAD from cute.

It came in helpful later, when Q left for preschool, and again when he boarded the big-kid bus for kindergarten.

Since they’ve been side-by-side in everything for as long as my youngest can remember, it also came in handy when it was time for R2, my youngest, to say goodbye as his big brother. The original story is about a little raccoon being nervous to head to school without his mother. In our ‘revised’ version, it was perfect for a 3yo getting ready to head to preschool while his brother left for Kindergarten. Versatile!

invisible line

Ages 3.5+

Max At Night

This one might be too abstract in concept for more literal kids, but it works if you take the time to discuss who and what max and the moon could represent. Max searches everywhere for the moon to say goodnight, only to realize it’s always there even when he can’t see it.

 

invisible line


Ages 1-3

When I Miss You

This rather didactic (bland, but fine) book spells out methods to cope clearly for very young kids.

‘When I Miss You’ validates feelings of separation anxiety for school drop-off (as well as sitters and when parents have to leave for work. It’s a cute, simple board book for toddlers ages 3 and under, and includes ideas for how to cope with separation anxiety, such as drawing a picture to give to parents when they come back. It’s vague enough that you can read it to kids who aren’t already expressing separation anxiety without inspiring new fears.


invisible line

Ages 3.5+

The Invisible String

Best for parents going back to work, extended time away from friends and family, and comforting kids nervous about death.

The Invisible String briefly mentions death of an uncle and references heaven – but it’s mostly about staying connected to the ones we love.


 

Ages 5.5+invisible line

What To Do When You Don’t Want To Be Apart

This workbook is just lovely. The text is advanced, so it’s probably best for kids ages 5.5+. I’m particularly happy that it’s inclusive for many family constellations, including same-sex parents, grandparents, and foster families. The illustrator normalizse disability, hijabs, and racial diversity, too.

 


For parents going back to work

Miss You Like Crazy, despite the sanist title, has a decent story. I still haven’t found a book about separation anxiety from dad, because the patriarchy won’t let us have nice things.

The book My Mom Travels a Lot falls into a similar trap, showing dad as incompetent at basic things like finding boots. As if there is something inherent to femininity that lends us to domesticity (barf.)



You might also like: All The Single Mamas – Triumphant Stories Appreciating Single Mothers



When Kids Are With Babysitters, Nannies, And Grandparents

Rosie To The Rescue, Roo’s New Baby-Sitter (can’t get an image for this one), and I Want My Mommy.

There’s an I Want My Daddy version too, but it’s not about separation anxiety, just about how much fun a kid and dad have together.



You might also like: Raising Feminist Fathers – Books Featuring Loving Dads



When Kids Miss Siblings

Maple & Willow Apart, Twindergarten

I’m still searching for books that help divided siblings in foster care and blended families in different locations who miss siblings. Someone – please write these.



You might also like: Love Is Love Is Love – Stories With Diverse Family Constellations



When Kids Miss Grandparents

Charlie & Mouse & Grumpy, Our Favorite Day, Dear Juno, I Really Want To See You Grandma, Ma Dear’s Old Green House

Ages 3+

Ages 3-6

Ages 3-7

Ages 3-6

Ages 5-9



For Older Kids & Extended Trips Away

Away



Antidotes To Fear – Getting Kids Excited For Adventure

These ones aren’t about hesitancy, but about jumping forward and the romance of moving forward through daring adventure. They also make decent graduation gift if you’re into giving kind of person who likes to give kids books to almost-adults who will never read them.

  • Wherever You Go – Good alternative to The Places You’ll Go, if you’re looking for a less problematic author than Dr. Seuss.
  • Great Big Things – This is lovely, but the Earthquakes weren’t willing to sit through this. Between the lack of active sentences and the dark illustrations, it seems like it’s written for adults.


Stay Curious, Stand Courageous & Let Go (for now)

Support these resources via Paypal | Venmo | Ko-fi | Buy a t-shirt | Buy a book

If you want reminders when I update these resources and publish new podcasts, join the email list.

 

 

You might also like:

What do you think?

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Stay Curious, Stand Brave & Smash The Kyriarchy

I create free resources & tool kits to help overworked caregivers
ignite the next generation of kind & courageous leaders

you've got free access to

0 +
resources like this

to reduce your workload

focus your limited bandwidth and resources on time with your kids instead of searching for engaging resources.

this toolkit saved you

0 +
hours

of tedious research

I'll do the listening, screening, testing & updating best practices. You focus on raising kind & courageous leaders (and maybe take a nap).

we still need

0 +
monthly supporters

to collaborate sustainably

From $1 donations to sliding scale memberships, I rely on a little reciprocity to support my family.

ashia reads books to kids

Ashia (they/them or she/her)

I’m an Autistic, multiracial (Chinese/Irish) 2nd-generation settler raising two children alongside my partner on the homelands of the Wampanoag and Massachusett people. My goal with Raising Luminaries is to collaborate with families and educators in raising the next generation of kind & courageous leaders, so we can all smash the kyriarchy together.

Reciprocate & Contribute

Pay disabled folks for our labor. Help me support you without going broke.

Sustainable monthly contributions 34%
JOIN THE BENEVOLENT INCENDIARY SOCIETY

Spark Family Conversations on Social Justice

Join the Benevolent Incendiary Society for free and get monthly guided family discussions & toolkit updates delivered via email.

RAISING LUMINARIES

Hi, I’m Ashia, founder & Head Custodian of Infodumpery for Raising Luminaries.

I create free tool kits to help overworked caregivers ignite the next generation of leaders.

ABOUT | MISSION | FINANCIALS | ACCOUNTABILITY

Published: Last Updated on

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT

STAY IN TOUCH

Join the Benevolent Incendiary Society & get a free monthly email update with helpful book collections

Get free monthly email notifications when I add new resources to our Family Action Toolkits

HELP

JOIN OUR COMMUNITY

SHOP

Posts may contain affiliate links and  sponsorships, which allow me to earn a commission at no extra cost to you.

AFFILIATE POLICY

PARTNERS IN CAHOOTS

TOPICS

CONTACT

Sponsor or Volunteer to contribute to this toolkit and keep it free for everybody.

You’re welcome to share & boost this toolkit, with attribution to Raising Luminaries.

Raising Luminaries is anchored in the land of the Wampanoag & Massachusett People.
Support Wôpanâak early childhood education here.

©2022 Ashia Ray of Raising Luminaries™. All rights reserved.

This page may use affiliate referral links. We may earn a small commission if you choose to make an order using these links. Learn how we use affiliate links to support our community.

Photographs via Unsplash & Illustrations via Storyset, used with permission.

Raising Luminaries

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. Accept Read More

Skip to content