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Patience & Persistence

Patience - Staying focused on what really matters to us when we're faced with frustration and difficulty.

Persistence - Choosing to keep working toward our goal when we face setbacks and obstacles.

False Urgency - A trick to distract you from your goal by convincing you that you must take care of a less important problem right away or else - something bad will happen or you could miss out on something great.

SMASH THE KYRIARCHY

Why Act Now?

As activists, we work to change the unfair rules and how our community treats our most vulnerable members. This is big work - and can take many years (or generations) to create the change we want to see.

Many people disagree with us, and like the rules we see as unfair. Some want the same changes as us - but believe the way we create change is wrong. Many misunderstand the changes we want, and most people don’t even know about the unfairness. People who want to stop and slow our work oppose our activism - creating setbacks and obstacles that will exhaust and frustrate us.

Instead of letting opposition and obstacles wear us down and give up, we  weaponize patient persistence.

To keep going even if our work doesn’t create change right away. To keep going even when it seems like we will never succeed. Our elder activists have shown that persistence and patience is vital to big change - and we are up to that challenge.

Patience & Persistence: A Family Action Toolkit

Long Term Change For Activist Kids

1. GET CURIOUS

Learn

How does this issue impact YOU and the people you care about?

2. TALK & DEBATE

Ask

Who's willing to be open and honest with you about this issue?

3. SET GOALS

Think

What activities help you ponder & create solutions?

4. CHANGE & ADVOCATE

Action

Which simple steps can kids like you make towards change?

STEP 1: 5 MINUTES

Get Curious: Pick A Story

Which stories and videos make you interested in learning more about this issue?

Babies + Toddlers

Calm

CHOSEN BY KYRIARCHY-SMASHING KIDS

Best Kids Stories About Patience

STEP 2: 10 MINUTES

Ask Questions

Talk about this topic with an adult who you trust to be honest with you..

When...

When's the last time you got frustrated waiting for something you really wanted?

How did you get those frustrated feelings out?

How do you want to react the next time you get frustrated?

Who...

Who worked hard so you could live safer and happier today?

What opposition did they face?

How did they deal with big feelings and frustration through setbacks?

How...

When do you find yourself rushing through your activities?

What are you afraid will happen if you don't rush?

How does rushing change how well you do these activities?

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mother lifting child
family eating together
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STEP 3: USE WHAT YOU HAVE

Get Creative

Flex your brain using what you've learned & discover what's within your control to change.

Toddlers+

Patience is Tasty

Cook a pot of pasta (quick), lentils (quick-ish), or dried beans (slow).

Taste the food early, middle, and late in the cooking process.

How does waiting change how tasty our food is?

What else gets better with time?

Pre-K+

DIY Sensory Bottles

Create sensory bottles to shake up when you're frustrated and soothe yourself as the glitter settles.

Bonus points if you can create your own non-recyclable plastic confetti from the bin instead of filling the world with more non-biodegradable glitter.

Elementary+

Air-Dry Bear Bowls

Create TWO cute bear bowls out of air-dry clay.

Paint one bowl and use it before the clay has dried.

How is finishing the bowls different depending on whether you wait for the clay to cure?

STEP 4: ASSESS YOUR CAPACITY

Step Into Your Power: Take Action

Whether it's time, money, or our voice - we all have something to contribute.

if you have $15

Train Young Girls & Femmes To Win Elections

IGNITE equips young women & femmes with resources to lead their communities and run for elected office.

if you have 10 minutes

Create a Long + Short-Term Action Plan

Map out your priorities alongside your kids. What's your family's single, most important long term goal? What short-term tasks will you dedicate yourself to get there? How will you react to setbacks?

If you have 5 friends

Amplify & Boost

Share this toolkit with 5 friends who would appreciate your help tackling these topics as a family.

Email
DIG DEEPER

Bonus Resources

Share what worked for your family (and what didn't).

Add the resources you suggest in the comments below to help families like yours.

VIDEO

The Marshmallow Study, Revisited

More on how adult reliability impacts kids' ability to stay patient and persevere.

via The University of Rochester

CHOOSE YOUR ADVENTURE

Family Action Resilience Toolkit

By staying tenacious and resilient, we can keep working together toward the future we want.

Via Raising Luminaries

COLLECTIVE WORKSHOP

Learn How To Pace Yourself

Join the Raising Luminaries Summer Luminator and learn how to pace yourself when parenting, advocacy, and life comes at you too fast.

Stay Curious, Stand Brave & Smash The Kyriarchy

family jumping on bed

Author: Ashia (they/them)

Ashia Ray is the founder of Raising Luminaries.

I’m Autistic, multiracial (Chinese/Irish) 2nd-generation settler raising two children alongside my partner on the homelands of the Wampanoag and Massachusett people. I support families and educators in raising the next generation of kind & courageous leaders, so we can all smash the kyriarchy together.

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Photographs via Unsplash & Illustrations via Storyset, used with permission.

Raising Luminaries is rooted in the unceeded land of the Wampanoag & Massachusett People.

Land acknowledgements are worthless without action. So we prioritize amplifying Indigenous-lead resources in our toolkits and reciprocate with donations to the Wôpanaâk Language Reclaimation Project.

©2014-2026 Ashia Ray of Raising Luminaries™. All rights reserved.

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