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Let’s Explore Consent & Boundaries

Keep an open dialogue going so kids know body discussions and boundaries are never taboo and they can always come to a trusted adult (you, but also find someone not in your family whom they can go to for help) with concerns or questions.

Read

• C is for Consent (ages 2-4)
• Let’s Talk About Body Boundaries, Consent & Respect (ages 4-7)
• That Uh-oh Feeling (ages 5-8)

Discuss

• For generations, the dominant rule for generations was that we train vulnerable people on how to avoid being harassed. But we don’t train people with power how to not harass others. Why is that? How does it feel when someone assumes they can touch you without consent?
• Even though boys and men are often targets of abuse and sexual violence, it’s common to disregard masculine people when someone violates their boundaries. Why is that? How does it feel when you report a difficult experience and no one seems to care?
• Strangers will often touch people in targeted groups in public – such as feminine people, people with physical disabilities, and pregnant people, as if they are objects or communal property. Why is that? How does it feel when people treat your body like it belongs to them?
• White people often comment on the hair of people of color, and will often touch our hair without consent. Why do they feel entitled to do that? How does it feel when strangers touch your hair? How does it feel when people ask inappropriate things and you’re not sure what they will do when you say ‘no’?
• Strangers often feel entitled to touch our accessibility devices and other extensions of our bodies – like wheelchairs. Why is that? How does it feel when people touch your body?
• Why do we wear masks in public spaces when we’ve been exposed to contagious, even if we don’t think we are sick? When people with contagious diseases refuse to wear a mask near you, how does it feel?
• Why do we cover our faces when we cough and sneeze? How does it feel when someone coughs or sneezes in your face?
• Why do we wash our hands after using the rest room and before eating? How does it feel when someone uses the rest room without washing their hands, and then touches your things?

Take Action

• Join the Modeling Consent workshop for caregivers via When We Gather on October 21, 2022 at 12-12:50pm EST.

More Resources to dig deeper:

• Consent & Body Sovereignty for Infants & Toddlers
• Talking About Consent With Kids – Kids Books About Boundaries
• 6 Mistakes We Make Raising Sons – Kids Books To Prevent Sexual Assault
• Motivate kids to keep up their good sanitation with Do Not Lick This Book
• Crushes & Puppy Love: Kids books about mutual respect, consent, and clear boundaries
• Help Kids Feel Safe – Books About Sexuality, Masturbation & Healthy Boundaries
• Kids Stories on Conflict Resolution: Playdates, Boundaries & Dealing With Jerks
• Teach older kids (4+) how to identify understand coercion and grooming tactics with Pretty Salma.
• Luminary Brain Trust Access: Family Movie Night analysis of how media for Gen X & Millenial kids normalized grooming in Flight of Dragons and GenZ/Zoomer media dismisses coercion and spiking someone’s drink in the Descendants.
• “Something really ought to be done about Little Miss Bossy”

Listen to the podcast

I’ve been thinking about consent and how often I just sort of scoop up my almost 4-year-old without asking. I will be working on that.

 

There’s so much he can do on his own but I tend to jump in way too quickly. Fortunately, he lets me know with his body language and words. It reminds me of the conversation you and Bellamy were having about receiving feedback from our kids.

 

Loving the podcast, especially ‘Good Ideas to Avoid.’

Rachel G., Parent Activist Incubator Member

Listen to the Raising Luminaries episodes on consent & boundaries:

• Modeling boundaries for the next generation of self-advocates
• Boundaries with Friends: What do we owe each other?