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Let’s explore Death Positivity

Autumn is when we let things die. This is a good time to slow down, resist the capitalist drive to KEEP GOING AS FAST AS YOU CAN, and stop exhausting ourselves running away from scary things. Like death, loss, and all our fears of ‘what if…’

You can do this. You are tough, and smart, and you can do hard things.

Set aside an entire season to discuss our deepest fears, our worries about rejection and disaster, and to talk openly and honestly about death with our families. This practice gives kids space to process the feelings and concerns they might not feel comfortable bringing up when we’re busy running errands, completing chores, or go-go-going.

Read:

• What I Like Most (ages 3-7)
• Life and I (Ages 6-10)
• Duck, Death and the Tulip (Ages 4+)

Discuss

• What if the things, relationships, or the people we love the most go away? How could we be still be okay?
• What is death positivity? What is deathmisia?
• How does our family view death? What death traditions does our family practice? Why?
• How do we take things that ‘last forever’ for granted? How is the idea that something could last forever a myth?
• When is it safe to talk about death? How can we build in times of the day or week to talk about fears we haven’t acknowledged or found words for?
• What does it mean when something is irreversible?
• When is permanence or change comforting, and when is it scary?
• Why do American children’s stories avoid ending stories with death, tragedy, and irreversible loss – particularly the death of young, white, abled people?

Additional resources to dig deeper into this topic:

• Talking About Death With Young Kids: A Beginner’s Guide
• Kids Stories Exploring Death Positivity
• Kids Stories On Transitions & Accepting Change
• Older Lives Are Worth Living: Fighting Ageism & Deathmisia In Children’s Books
• Supporting kids through the death of a pet
• Supporting kids through the death of a friend
• Supporting kids through the death of a grandparent
• Kids Stories About Terminal Illness
• Día De Los Muertos Stories
• Children’s Books for Qingming & more Qingming resources in our April Resource Roundup
• Luminary Brain Trust members: #FamilyMovieNight: Soul