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Luminary Brain Trust Updates

August 4, 2023

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Does a lack of boundaries make you more virtuous?

Each month we examine a new aspect of supremacy culture - and our responsibility to resist it within ourselves and our communities.

Hi Friends!

This August, we’re:

  • Tapping into a permissions from Care Work by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha
  • Examining how we were seen as ‘good’ when we lowered our boundaries growing up
  • And then making decisions on how we want things to be different for our kids

Join us in the discussion (comments, polo group, etc.) and let us know – how have you glorified shitty boundaries, and what are you willing to change?

Meanwhile, in the Collab Lab:

I’ve been plowing through memoirs, how-to’s, and strategies for resolving generational trauma for our Summer Collab Lab project.

Part of this work has to be personal, right? My most recent ancestors lived through mass famine, occupation, colonization, infanticide, the Catholic education complex, institutionalizing of women, the Chinese Exclusion Act, anti-Asian hate, culturally sanctioned sexual violence, and the ongoing opioid epidemic, plus. more (and that’s just the past 4 generations).

I’ve got to be honest… it’s rough revisiting it all, considering how these experiences might have impacted my kids in ways I can’t see or control.

And it’s really rough work doing this alone.

So I reached out to Nat Vikitsreth of Come Back To Care, because she’s an expert on this stuff! After squealing at each other for an hour or so about how excited we are about each other’s work, we’ve decided to team up.

If you, or a caregiver you know is drowning under the weight of intergenerational trauma or violence, she’s a force for good who can really help.

Here’s how to get started:

1. Visit the Come Back To Care website and join her free email list

2. Subscribe to her gentle, loving podcast

3. Get a sense of what it’s like to work with her by registering for a free training

This autumn, Nat and I will be teaming up for a community workshop on generational trauma.

If you’d like to join us – share what support looks like for you.

What days and times work best? What questions do you have? How can we make this collaboration more accessible for families like yours?

Meanwhile – I’m curating a collection of resources for both kids and adults over in our Generational Trauma CoLab discussion, if you’d like to start these discussions at home.

Coming up next:

I’ll be back next week with a new Family Movie Night rant!

With you,

– Ashia

PS: It’s not too late to join Stories That Save Us, register for one or both events on August 6th and/or September 8th. Sliding scale proceeds support Revolutionary Humans and the Shoffner Family’s survival.

PPS: I’ve upgraded our website server, which means Books For Littles & Luminary Braintrust sites should be easier to load but you may have to log in again (thanks for your patience!)  Let me know if you hit any problems in the comments so I can fix them.

PPPS: Acknowledge your progress and keep this momentum! Share your Little Win this week.

PPPPS: Help us choose our autumn experiment! Vote in the Collab Lab and tell me what support looks like for you as you raise kind & courageous leaders.



When have you had to choose between being 'good' and protecting your boundaries?

Let's resist systemic oppression together.

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©2023 Ashia Ray of Raising Luminaries™. All rights reserved.

Raising Luminaries is anchored in the land of the Wampanoag & Massachusett People.
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Photographs via Unsplash & Illustrations via Storyset, used with permission.

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