In this discussion series, we examine common ways we self-sabotage progressive movements.
Enrollment For Parenting The Path of Least Resistance Ends In:
In this discussion series, we examine common ways we self-sabotage progressive movements.
Excerpt from the CIA Field Manual on Simple Sabotage:
“You can cause wear on any machine by uncovering a filter system, poking a pencil or any other sharp object through the filter mesh, then covering it up again. Or, if you can dispose of it quickly, simply remove the filter.”
As the main character of our universe, your mission is to rescue everybody.
Using our strategy, you can tackle systemic issues through an individual approach that reinforces existing power structures. Forget collective liberation, what you need is big, flashy gestures of support so you can bask in the glow of virality.
Anyone can bolster a far-right supremacist agenda. Adopt an ego-driven approach by practicing paternalistic heroics. Let’s take inspiration from nefarious pillars of the kyriarchy such as ‘Anti-Slavery Activist’ Charles Jacobs, ‘Digital Philantropist,’ Mr. Beast, and ‘Humanity’s Self-Appointed Savior,’ Elon Musk. Welcome to the ultimate guide on derailing inclusion and justice in your community.
Follow these steps to master the art of sabotage by maintaining the status quo and solving all problems the traditional super hero way — whether we asked for your help or not.
Why waste time attacking the roots of injustice when you can make loud noises about how busy you are?
To build your reputation and secure bragging rights, be sure to:
This approach not only drains the energy or others, but will transform you into a loud, arrogant boor. We need all eyes on you.
Today, we learn the art of gate-keeping social power and material resources so targeted folks can’t possibly pursue their own liberation.
The key to perpetual saviorism is to muddy up the lines between support and co-dependence.
Keep everyone distracted by how flashy and helpful you are, while acting as a bottleneck to progress and gatekeeper to power. Only YOU can create a barrier to real systemic change and prevent targeted people from the resources they need for self-efficacy.
When in doubt – micro-manage the crap out of everything and everybody. This your moral mandate – after all, as the only smart person in the room, you are responsible for everyone in the universe and all of their problems and feelings!
(Until you’re not feeling it anymore, in which case, after making a problem exponentially more complicated, drop it and leave it for the folks who have no choice but to deal with it.)
1. Follow Your Whims & Feelings
As an empath, you don’t need to listen to those most impacted to inform a strategic, needs-based solution. Instead, let your superior intuition guide your actions:
By focusing on your own feelings rather than the actual needs of the people you’re saving, ensure that your help is scattered and ineffective at best.
2. Confuse Tourism with Contribution
Why collaborate when you can intrude?
By sowing confusion and centering your feelings, you can disrupt any sense of psychological or physical safety targeted people need to form coherent strategies for collective liberation. It’ll be years before we figure out you’ve been using us the whole time. :::Evil cackle:::
3. Take Any Opportunity To Swerve Wildly Out of Your Lane
As every romantic comedy / action movie has taught us – boundaries are just lines drawn in the sand for heroes to trample in their pursuit of glory. Hurl your powerful body over those boundaries and beach yourself mightily beside the ocean of justice.
By blundering sloppily into spaces you’re ill-equipped to contribute and beaching your rotting carcass to distract us from the real problem, you can demoralize and exhaust any under-resourced community.
Never miss an opportunity for attention and accolades. Ensure every initiative, meeting, and email centers your hard work by avoiding these common pitfalls:
Avoid modeling collective liberation for your kids.
By turning down opportunities for praise and credit, you might inadvertently teach your kids that they are not the main character of global liberation. Always be on, always be working, and never set time aside for self-reflection or strategic planning.
Be particularly suspicious of collectives like the Summer Luminator, which drags you out of your comfort zone of quoting feminist literature, lurking in online workshops, and hosting performative book groups.
Stay suspicious and defensive against anyone who asks “Is that what they ASKED you to do?” follows it up with “What action will you take next?” and wraps it up with “What’s your accountability process?” is trying to de-center you and ruin your savior vibe.
Avoid recognizing who you are best connected to and situated to support
If you aren’t prioritizing the most desperately helpless pathetic creature in the world, you’re a bad person. As a hero, you can and must rescue everybody, all the time. Unless they’re not cute.
Avoid any reflection revealing how your particular personality or skill set helps a targeted group of people who could then go on to help others. You don’t understand what ‘collective liberation‘ means and you’re too listen to someone explain it. You’ve got a newsletter to create!
Avoid Self-Advocacy & Conspirator Collaborations
While anything centering YOU sounds great, beware self-advocacy work (it sounds like the world ‘selfish for a reason! And I don’t want to think too deeply about why!)
Heroes are selfless and don’t have time to care for themselves. To uphold capitalism and the exploitation of feminized care work, this work must be tedious, painful, and drain your scarcest resources.
Avoid collaborating on shared challenges – that could lead to friendship, solidarity, and companionship. All stuff for dorks! You’re not a dork. You’re strong. You’re a DIAYYET master.
It’s best to keep any self-advocacy you do in the closet. As targeted people, we are too incompetent to save ourselves. According to supremacist rule-makers, you don’t count as one of the ‘good ones’ and you’re not qualified to represent yourself anyway.
Instead, secure your passing privilege and access to scarce drips of tolerance and conditional belonging. Take a pick-me role, or excuse the behavior of an ally willing to take you on as the token friend.
A rising tide lifts all boats, and it’s your responsibility to lift everyone standing on your neck until you’ve earned their admiration and mercy.
Avoid working with peers navigating similar challenges
You’re a regular person cosplaying as a super-human, so it’s vital you never let anyone know that you’re just figuring out parenting and social justice work as you go along.
Avoid learning spaces with other parents navigating similar challenges, or those who admit what they don’t know. Their patience in holding space for each other will rub off on you, and then you will be a dork – a lazy dork. Superheroes aren’t lazy OR dorks, unless they are wearing glasses and sitting at a desk, in which case it’s supposed to be a TEMPORARY DISGUISE.
Instead, seek out experts. Find people who have the most letters after their names, particularly expert allies who choose this work – like cishet white women who write about anti-racism and post pictures of themselves at pride parades. The fact that they are popular and profitable means they’re doing it right. Look how many selfies they’ve posted standing next to racially ambiguous lesbians. They seem nice, trust them.
Bonus, they seem just safe and oblivious enough that they will never call you out for being lazy, or dorky, or doing problematic savior damage.
If anyone confronts you about your performative activism or draws attention to the damage you’ve done as a savior, derail the conversation!
By avoiding feedback, criticism, and accountability, you can shut down any meaningful dialogue and protect your ego from the uncomfortable truth.
After enough saviorism (and promoting your saviorism) you may run the risk of burnout and exhaustion. The endless cycle of rushing in to rescue others and then rushing back out when you realize how hard it is will drain your energy, leaving you mentally exhausted, you poor thing.
Binging ‘Love Is Blind’ while pulling out each of your eyebrow hairs one-by-one may will make you feel temporarily superior, but the recognizing the similarities between you and attention-starved reality TV stars will eventually send you spiraling into a hole of impostor syndrome (or whatever ‘impostor syndrome‘ is called when you really are an impostor).
If you truly wanted to empower targeted people and take concrete steps toward collective liberation, leaping in as a savior is a tried-and-tested strategy to sabotage anyone you hold power over.
Luckily, you’re steadfast in your true agenda bolstering existing power structures while keeping a tenuous grip on the few privileges bestowed upon you. Saviorism is a great way to maintain both your conditional safety and the admiration of folks who aren’t paying much attention.
Feeling like an isolated, ashamed, and thinking of changing your approach? Don’t you dare!
In the second week of the Summer Luminator, we show up for others effectively by:
If you’ve ever felt like it’s up to you alone to save the world, that every global tragedy is your personal responsibility to fix, you could dedicate this summer to finally figuring out who really are responsible for and how to show up for them effectively.
But instead of joining us in the Summer Luminator, remind yourself that you don’t need anyone cracking holes in your facade.
Just look at our economy and government – maintaining savior-levels of arrogance could get you into the highest echelons of power and wealth!
It’s not worth the risk just to access a community where your contributions are truly welcome and helpful.
Determine who you are best positioned to support, who you work best with, and how to transform envy and competition into collaboration.
Join our 6-week workshop with a community of caregivers navigating care work and social justice to smash the kyriarchy.
How do you recognize and resist saviorism?